Today I decided to do things differently. I started posting my artwork to a few different sites, and noticed that they weren’t getting very much attention. 10 years ago, I felt like I got a lot more attention for my work. There seemed to be so much potential. This has brought about feelings of depression in me, but rather than run from it, I’ve decided to face it. That’s a different way of doing it for me. Rather than hide my feelings, I’ve decided to express myself. I believe this is bigger than me, that if I move forward with courage, life will adjust itself to me, as much as I adjust myself to life.
I sit here with a hot cup of tea next to the keyboard. I feel angry, but also joyful. I’ve come a long way. I can deal with my feelings much better than I used to. That’s what I’ve been learning how to do for several years. In some ways other areas of my life haven’t advanced as much, but I have a saying: “Everything evens out in the end.”. The Universe balances everything. We all need to learn the lessons we need to learn.
I think back over the past 10 years, and I see that I could have improved my career a lot more than I did, but I learned what I learned, and did what I did. Any regrets I may have, I’m able to let go. I’m able to forgive myself. I know that as I walked through the fire, I came out stronger than I did before. I face life fair and square. I let go of all resentment, and go forward with love and forgiveness in my heart. I make no apologies for who I am, for my life, or for life itself. Every day is a blessing to me, because I should have died by my own hands at 12 years old, but I am here instead. I am focused on the quality of the time that I have.