I broke my laptop last night in a fit of anger. It’s not the first thing I’ve broken. Back in the olden days I broke a typewriter while in the middle of writing a report. I broke a hair dryer once (I suppose for being a hair dryer). Then there was the time I punched a hole in the wall. OK, that was more than once.
I’ve got anger issues. Journaling has helped (why is journaling considered a typo). Learning to talk about it helps. Working on a lot of projects can help. Exercise, sports, martial arts, and Yoga are good ways to channel the anger.
They say anger occurs when you feel like you’re not getting what you want.
Sometimes my anger turns into rage. Eckhart Tolle calls it the pain-body. That’s an apt description.
It’s like everything I’ve ever been angry about starts spilling out in a fit of rage. The rage is often fueled by depression, like a quasar with a black hole at its center releasing massive amounts of energy. It’s not a pretty sight (anger, not quasars).
Anger can possess me and not let go like a dog gnawing on a bone. Being mindful helps.
I observe the angry energy coursing through my body. I sense the anger coiled up in my head, chest, stomach, and limbs.
Sometimes it has to come out and I yell, scream, kick, and throw things around. It’s ugly and I feel possessed.
Eventually the anger wears off. The dragon goes back to sleep. I feel tired and spent. I apologize for being angry.
Everything feels better.
Until the next time.
Angry Tiger by Guyon Morée Wikimedia Commons
The Hole in the Wall Wikimedia Commons
Muay Thai Wikimedia Commons
Crying Baby by Dave Buchwald Wikimedia Commons
Eckhart Tolle by Kyle Hoobin Wikimedia Commons
Livernois Wikimedia Commons
Escher Stars Wikimedia Commons