I don’t think forgiveness is something we can will ourselves to do, but rather it’s the result of true understanding and acceptance of reality. The thing about truth and understanding is that we can’t pretend we have it when we don’t. Likewise, forgiveness seems to be something we can’t pretend is there when it isn’t.
When we understand ourselves, the way people are, the way life works, I think we naturally have more inner peace, and also more space to allow forgiveness to grow. We can do our best to forgive, but if it’s difficult to do, we can seek to understand ourselves, such as how we’re really feeling, why we find it hard to forgive, and also seek to understand other people, and why they do what they do.
Life isn’t always pretty or fair, but it’s always truthful. Forgiveness is more about having the courage to face the truth than wanting things to be the way we want them.