My girlfriend and I are approaching our 15 year anniversary, and it would take a book to get even close to describing our journey together, let alone a 150-300 word blog post.
Be that as it may.
Our story is one of love, perseverance, stubbornness, commitment, growth, transformation, inhibition, adventure, dedication, dependence, independence, and whatever else two people who grew up together, and continue to grow, are about.
We’ve pretty much broken every rule about how to have a healthy, long-term relationship, other than actually having a long-term relationship, which, if not the healthiest in the world, is still going strong, and has a lot of vitality and potential. By itself, years together don’t amount to much, nor is it a sure sign of success and happiness, but there’s something to be said for experience.
Out of all the things I’ve done, successful or otherwise, my romantic relationship is the one constant in my life, the source of my greatest joy, and greatest sorrow, in a life marked by deep relationship wounds and conflict.
This is what songs are written about, and I suppose in some way that’s what we want.
There’s so much you learn about life growing up and being with each other for this long, and there are so many blind spots you acquire. Some people will wonder why we’re not married, have kids, a house, cars, and stuff, why we’re responsible, why we’re not responsible. The truth is, we don’t know the answer.
We create and are created by our circumstances.
After all these years, we still need to learn how to communicate with each other every day, learn about each other, ask each other how we feel, who we are, where we’re at, and re-affirm our love and commitment. We may not be married, but every day is like an act of renewing our vows.
We’ve been through a lot, and maybe it’s the 15 year thing, but this year especially has been a true test of our courage and love.
Soulmates never die, they live forever, and this is just the beginning.