In Joy In My Self

I continue to learn about life, and I want to share what I’ve learned. Today I learned that joy, meaning, and purpose often shows up in small moments.

It seems like we live in a time of imbalance. There are extremes of wealth, poverty, happiness, and unhappiness. Life has a way of balancing things out, but how things get balanced remains to be seen.

Imbalance can show up as symptoms. We sometimes treat the symptoms with excess, but in the excess, meaning is lost.

People have the desire to acquire. We want to have enough for the future, so things become a means to an end. The means to an end becomes a means to another end. Meaning keeps getting pushed away, distanced from purpose.

I thought of these things as I sold some more books, appalled at the paltry amount I got for them, but it was enough to buy my daily bread, milk, and eggs. A sparse refrigerator brings every ingredient into bold relief. How often in the past did I let food spoil? I was angry about my situation, yet I also felt purposeful. The anger fueled the purpose, and gave the situation meaning.

These financial challenges help me see the meaning of my work, and why I choose to do it. I see that it really is a choice for me to be an artist. Talent alone won’t do it. It takes dedication and perseverance. It took time for these life lessons to sink in.

The challenges in life gives life meaning. It may be that purpose doesn’t show up until you’re ready, or have a true need for it. And the strangest thing of all is the joy I feel.

I’m in joy in my self.



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Artist | Writer | Musician

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