Posting Every Day in 2014

pad2014I realize that I’m getting a late start, but I’ve decided to do Post-A-Day 2014. I did it last year, and while I didn’t post every day, I did end up writing more consistently. GBM has always been therapy for me, whether I like to admit it or not, so doing something therapeutic every day sounds pretty nice.

Maybe I can distill the essence of whatever truth I happen to be experiencing for the day, and write about it. For example, today my truth can be boiled down to self-acceptance. At the heart of my day is the theme of accepting myself completely and fully, which is essentially having unconditional love for myself. Somehow that feels like a homecoming and facing my worst fears all at the same time.

My self-awareness has grown by leaping and bounding. I realize that I have sub-personalities, different parts of myself that I need to acknowledge and respect. It’s not always easy. In fact, it’s the most difficult thing I’ve ever done, or rather, all the difficulties I’ve been through have led me to this particular point in time. I don’t know if I’m completely out of the woods — or the underworld — but I’m able to write about it, so I know I’ve made it back, and I’ve made it far.

butterfly-flowerWhat I’m talking about is aligning with my True Self, which might be what Jung is calling Individuation. It’s coming face to face with who you really are, and it’s at once transcendent and humbling. Sometimes it feels like the most sublime love I’ve ever felt, and at other times I’m overcome with guilt and shame over the mistakes I’ve made, things I could have done differently, but that’s becoming less, and even that is wrapped up in the arms of grace, and I’m overcome with tears. The tears used to be more sad than joyful, but now the tears are less, and the joy outweighs the sadness. It’s worth it.

There are inner transformations that can only happen during times of crisis. The false self metaphorically dies, because it had always been just that; a metaphor.

And you find yourself saying, “Oh, so this is who I was all along.”

image credits: morguefile , postaday

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