For a long while, I’ve been lost and confused about the seemingly opposite and nigh irreconcilable pull of both artless commerce and artful consciousness.
The mastery of life–which seems for all intents and purposes to be “making a living”–and the mastery of art looked like paths that diverged at the crossroads. I think a part of me went one way, and another part went the other. At present, I’m pleasantly surprised that my paths have somehow met.
In my quest to be Captain & Commander, I’m often torn between wanting to get to the destination, and being patient on–and sometimes even enjoying–the journey. Oftentimes, there are other people involved (hence commerce), yet the Muse has a schedule of her own.
I’m currently working on a project that defies and escapes my ability to articulate the personal and creative challenges I’ve had to face in the doing of it, but that could be said of my whole career.
Art–this thing I call my vocation, which has chosen me as much as I’ve chosen it, which has me walking the path of mastery–can be a harsh mistress. She takes as much as she gives.
Every day is an act of devotion, as I sacrifice myself at the altar of the Muse. Art has become, and probably has always been, my religion. My soul is pregnant with creative possibilities.
Art doesn’t necessarily make me a better man, but it does make me want to be a better man.
image credit: by Eric Hunt licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0