I continue to realize important personal truths as I become more aligned with my True Self.
Today, as I was taking a break from painting, I watched yet another relationship advice video; one of many that I’ve watched over the past few months. I realized I’d made a breakthrough when I stopped the video halfway and had this powerful surge of irritation at the whole topic of relationships, threw my hands up in the air, and laughed out loud at the whole stupid thing. I might have yelled something to the effect of “who gives a flying fuck?!”
A lot of the videos I’ve watched are about guys who got dumped by their girlfriends, and are now either trying to get them back, or figure out what they did wrong. There are all these different strategies and ideas about how to attract and woo women, and don’t get me wrong, I’m all about improving yourself and doing better, but as a man, you eventually reach a point where you have to say Jesus Christ, who cares! I’m a hopeful romantic at heart, but even I have my limits.
This is my realization: anything that can be taken away from you was never yours to begin with, be it love, money, possessions, relationships, or anything else. Anything that can’t be taken away from you is yours by right. I have my values, integrity, creativity, intelligence, wit, charm, and lots of other things that aren’t contingent upon what someone else is going to do.
I still have a dream and vision about being with my perfect girl, and living happily ever after with her. I don’t fall in love lightly, and I don’t fall out of love easily. I don’t like to let go of something until I truly see that it’s not serving me.
I’m done pursuing my ex-girlfriend. She can pursue me if she wants to, and if it feels good for me to be with her, then I’ll be with her. I think she’s an amazing woman, and I love her very much, and any guy that gets to be with her is incredibly lucky, but there’s nothing worse for a man’s self-esteem than trying to convince a woman of his value. I’m sick and tired of acting like a beggar. I know my value, and I’m going to live like I know it.