The Shadow of Mother

As I mentioned, I’ve been living with my mom due to the break-up of a long-term relationship. This experience has clarified lots of mental and emotional baggage I’d been carrying around. I’m writing an article about it so I can claim and share my experiences and breakthroughs with people who value what I have to offer.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve lived under the shadow of MOTHER; an archetype of the woman who gave birth to me, raised me, loves me, and helps me out. I love and appreciate my mom, but now I realize that MOTHER is this twisted and hateful villain. I don’t know if my mom is conscious of when she becomes MOTHER, but I’m aware of it, and I’m finally standing up for myself.

I can see how the poisonous beliefs of MOTHER have negatively influenced me over the years, and how it basically ruined my relationship with the woman I love. Running away didn’t work, and it took the end of my relationship for me to face my deepest fears. I think my mom slips on the MOTHER archetype (or she lets it slip her on) whenever she feels victimized and wants to emotionally manipulate someone. The fact that I’m writing this means I’m breaking free from the manipulation.

Mom, as MOTHER, spouted some toxic bullshit at me today like she’s done before, but this time I’m not going to just back down, feel guilty, and apologize for no reason. I may still need to live with her for a while, and I don’t care if it’s uncomfortable for me to stand my ground. I’m getting better, man, and I choose to value and respect myself. I’m not here to play out some kind of Oedipal complex.

The love of my life may have left me, and sometimes I wish I could have become stronger sooner, but now is as good a time as any to stand up for myself. I know there’s a difference between mom and MOTHER, and I’ll do my best to have a real relationship with the real person.

~ GBM

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Published by

Sedone

Artist | Writer | Musician

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