Welcome to Moving Day 2 aka Clever Ways of Doing Dumb Shit, because I’ve learned clever ways of doing dumb shit. I’m taking a break, because my hands are shaking, but it’s not from fatigue, it’s from fury. Writing about it helps me to calm down.
I consider myself open-minded, but I have low tolerance for ignorance and stupidity, and I’ve experienced both this morning. I think people are basically good, but the good doesn’t mean much when it’s buried beneath layers of dumb shit.
As I helped my stepdad move his stuff/crap/junk/dumb shit, I did my best to be positive. I’ve already mentioned that he rubs me the wrong way, but for the sake of my mom I do my best to get along with the both of them.
However, when a box full of plates fell over and broke everything in it, this idiot started laughing, and something in me just snapped. Fortunately, I’ve done enough self-improvement to calm myself down, at least to the point where I didn’t start using my fists.
Again, this is more clarity for me to know who I am. I like that I can stand amidst ignorance, and still be who I know myself to be. I can be appreciative of my parents’ help while at the same time know that their approach to life isn’t what I prefer.
I didn’t like it when my mom brought this guy into our lives when I was a teenager, and now that I’m in my thirties, I still don’t like the guy. I don’t think he’d have anything to do with me if not for my mom. That’s not love, it’s obligation, because he knows there’s no way in hell my mom would ever forsake her only child, so he pretty much has to help me out. I told him I respect him as my mom’s husband (she actually didn’t seem that happy until I arrived), and that I appreciate what he’s done for her and myself, but in my mind I’m thinking he’s not a man I would follow.
I want to do what feels right in regards to my relationship with my mom, and by extension, my stepdad. I want to have a relationship with him as an individual, and not as “that guy.” I’ll continue to believe in myself, and live a great life.