I want to gain clarity (and closure) about the important relationships in my life, namely the one with my mom, and the one with my ex-girlfriend; two very powerful feminine influences. I’m glad that I’m gaining more clarity. My emotions have stabilized, and it’s easier for me to know what my own thoughts are.
I know that, as of now, I want to have another opportunity to be in a relationship with my ex. I don’t know if that will happen, but I do know that if she wanted to be together again, I would feel good about that.
I’ve attempted to get in touch with her and her family to let them know that I love her (and them) very much. They’ve basically cut off contact with me, and I understand why they might do that. I know that I’ve always loved and respected them, no matter how it may have appeared.
Essentially, I know that it’s about my own journey of self-improvement, which included being in a long-term relationship with my ex, and now being separated from her, and whatever else may happen in our future. I know that a relationship like ours isn’t something that can be forgotten, although it may go through (dramatic) changes.
She’s already with someone else, and maybe she loves him, and maybe they’ll get married. I know that I love her whether she’s with me or not, or whether she wants to talk to me or not.
I know that if I were with the right woman for me, I would love her, and I would want to get married or have children if that’s what we both wanted. In my previous relationship, that’s not what we both wanted (or at least we weren’t sure). I know that I want my ex to have clarity about what she wants to do with her life, and who she wants to be with, which is also what I want for myself.
As for my relationship with my mom, I know that it’s good for me to have this time to re-establish a peaceful and positive relationship with her. The past was weighing me down quite heavily, but now I feel much lighter. I know that I needed to experience this for my own good, as well as for the good of any future relationships I have with women.