It’s afternoon, and I feel better, and I feel better that I feel better. I’m aware of the mercurial and inconstant nature of my moods. I know that at the heart of my discomfort is the desire to get along with people, while at the same time not wanting to betray who I am. I’m realizing that I can have harmony with others while still being true to myself. It’s a daily practice.
I want to be integrated and whole.
I want to feel stable and strong.
I want to go with the flow of my natural and powerful stream of well-being.
I know when I’m not integrated or aligned, because it feels bad, like I’m alienated from my Source. There’s fear in the thought of disapproval from others, but my love of being connected to my True Self trumps the fear. There’s a part of me that wants to seek approval, but that part of me has been so disappointed and disillusioned, that it finally hurts too much to try to please others, and that’s actually a very good thing for my further development.
I still want things from other people, like cooperation, resources, friendship, and love, but I’m no longer trying to fill a void. Now I can do whatever I’m doing without the extra weight of guilt, shame, and fear. I can follow my inner guidance, and learn from my life experiences.
Part of my integration is bringing together the diverse Life Areas. Each Life Area has meaning and purpose, and is capable of providing satisfaction and fulfillment. I want to dive in and squeeze all the juice out of each Life Area. Maybe my Spirit is eternal, but this is the only life I have in this particular body, and while I’m here I want to know who I am, what I’m about, and what I can do.