If we find ourselves stuck in patterns that are negative, self-defeating, and unproductive, it’s important to use our personal power to create new patterns. The purpose of creating new patterns is to empower ourselves.
Here are some examples from my own life. There’s a part if me that dreads hanging out with my stepdad when he gets home. This was very apparent to me when I first moved in with him a few months ago. I already had my own way of life that I was used to, but now I needed to create new patterns.
One of the things I do is make us coffee when he gets home. I take pride in making a good cup of coffee. This simple coffee ritual is surprisingly effective at creating harmony. I can see why different cultures have customs that they adhere to, because it creates social bonds and promotes peaceful coexistence.
As it turns out, I’ve learned to get along with my stepdad and actually enjoy hanging out with him to a certain extent, and even when I don’t, it’s still part of my self-improvement. If I can get along with him, I can get along with anyone.
Another example is when I’m feeling anxious about, well, pretty much everything. My new pattern is to be my own friend. It’s taken some time to accept this new pattern as my default one. Like the relationship with my stepdad, if I can get along with myself, I can do anything.
I think it’s better to leave the old pattern we’re wanting to change alone, and develop the new, more self-empowering pattern until we prove to ourselves that it’s the better choice. It may take a while, but it’s worth it.