I don’t think life is an either/or kind of thing, but I’ve been having vivid dreams and heavy moods, and as I chose to go put some gas in my mom’s car, and get some coffee for myself and her husband, the insight that came to me was that I could choose to be happy, or (insert whatever condition). This is a way of relieving black and white thinking. The black and white thinking is an excessive focus on what-is. By choosing to be happy, conditions will improve.
I asked myself, “Would I rather be happy, or have the girl?”
This works surprisingly well with anything. “Would I rather be happy, or worry about my job?”
Of course, I’d rather be happy in every case, and like I said, I don’t think it’s an either/or thing. I believe that I can be happy and have whatever it is I want, but conditional thinking can make that difficult to see. That way of thinking goes something like “because this condition is happening, I must now feel this way.”
For me, the fear that’s lurking in the background is that if I choose to be happy, then something bad is going to happen eventually, and wouldn’t that suck? Well, yes, that would suck, but it sucks worse to live in fear. So, would you rather be happy, or…