Something I’m very happy about is that I’m able to feel positive in situations that would have previously felt negative, because that means the way I think has shifted, and that means my reality has shifted. By “situations” I’m including my attitudes and moods, like feeling sad or angry about things. I’ve realized that I can feel positive about feeling negative. I’m pretty sure that means my self-esteem has improved.
There are things that people are doing, or have done, or conditions that I’m not happy with, but I feel good knowing that I’ve done my best to set things right. I know that there’s a bigger journey for me to take; one in which I’m independent of social conditioning, and collective conformity. I’ve always believed in myself, and all the events that have led to this point in my life – especially the past year, but even before that – have proven to me that I was right to believe in myself. One of the last things my ex told me was to believe in myself, and that’s how I choose to remember her; as an amazing woman, and a beautiful person.
Sometimes I don’t believe in myself as much as I could, or maybe I don’t want to at the time, but I have too much going for me to not believe in myself. A big change in my thinking is that I don’t owe it to anyone to be great; I naturally want to accomplish great things. By “great” I don’t mean having fame and fortune, although that’s great, too. I mean things like making peace with my parents, and shoveling years of trash out of my dad’s shop so he can sleep better, or having the inner strength to be there for my mom without succumbing to her beliefs, or loving my ex no matter what she decides to do, or appreciating myself, or writing, and painting.