Since I’m (re)starting over, I’m going back to basics; keeping it simple; getting to the heart of the matter; being sincere. That’s one of the benefits of a new beginning. I can keep what I like, and leave out what I don’t like. One of the most basic and important things is being aware of what feels good to me, which I sometimes only realize after knowing what doesn’t feel good to me. The key is to use what doesn’t feel good to identify what does feel good, and to focus on and do the things that feel good.
Sometimes I need to talk to myself about what feels good at the moment, and that whatever I’m doing does actually feel good, and that I’m choosing to do it. This is also sometimes necessary when it comes to remembering things from the past that don’t feel so good to think about, and cause confusion. If the emotions are too strong, I do my best to focus on other things that feel good, but when I can, I get clear about what I really think about the subject. That’s when I realize that certain things I did, I actually wanted to, and it felt good to do it, but other things didn’t feel so good, and I would do it differently now.
At the heart of it, I think what people desire is to know what they want to do – and be able to do what they want to do – in the way that they want to do it. Doobeee doobee doo. We may dress up this desire in various ways – make excuses, justify it, try to explain, seek cooperation, or manipulate others – but it seems like we essentially want to follow our heart’s desire. I asked the I Ching what my heart’s desire was, and it said that in the midst of old things falling away, what I have left is my integrity; the seeds of something new.