Something that’s very different for me is doing things for the right reason. It’s taken me a while to figure out what “right” even meant to me. Overcompensating, trying too hard, proving myself; all of that feels unbearable now, and I’m glad. It means I can finally let it go.
I was carrying the burden of propping up my persona – which is part of my ego – and pushing against my shadow, because that’s all I thought I was. I didn’t know my True Self. I was afraid, and as long as I had something to hold onto – some accomplishment or justification for my existence – I held onto it. Now I can pick and choose what I think about myself.
Some people may be angry, annoyed, disappointed, or frustrated with me for wanting to improve myself, or needing time to figure things out, but oh well. I’m doing my best (like always). I choose to be my own best friend. Choosing to be happy with myself just because I want to be, and not because I did something to deserve it, is the way I am now.