You know you’re in a good spot emotionally when life becomes amusing. I find it amusing that as my previous relationship was coming to an end, I was literally saying that I had insecurities I wanted to overcome, but just saying it didn’t change anything. The break-up had to happen before I experienced what it was like to become a secure person. Now that I’m a secure person – meaning I don’t need someone else to do anything for me to be happy – I feel free.
I wanted freedom, but I also didn’t want to break up. As it turned out, the break-up happened anyway, and now I’m free, which is actually what I want. Can we be free and still be in a relationship? I think so, but I know that my desire for freedom is the most important thing for me, and going against that isn’t an option, so any relationship would have to respect each person’s freedom.
The truth is, I’m discovering a new way to love and have relationships. It’s about being happy in and of yourself, and meeting other people who are happy in of themselves, and being together for as long as it feels good. We only add to each others’ company, but nothing is taken away from who we are as individuals.