It can be difficult to convince someone that you don’t have to do anything to earn someone’s love, or to be worthy of it. In this case, I’m thinking about my relationship with my mom. I’ve worked on enough self-improvement, and experienced enough life to know that my anger has value, and it’s telling me something. Again, in this case, it’s shaking me out of a rut. Since I’m her only child, my mom has given me a lot, but she also asks for a lot (maybe not explicitly, but implicitly). I’m ready to move on from all of that.
Without anger, I might just go along and continue to feel unhappy. I see that my mom is motivated by fear, and I don’t believe in that. I believe in being inspired to do things. I’ve seen glimpses of who she really is, and that’s what I choose to focus on.
No matter how painful this past year has been, it’s also been blissful, and being able to have mental clarity and emotional stability has been one of my long-term goals. I’ve learned that the only thing I can truly trust are my feelings and my inner guidance.