I’ve learned that anger is my friend. Not knowing what my anger is about – and not knowing what to do with it – might be a problem, but when I feel angry, it’s actually a guide for me to come into my power. I believe in making the best of things, being positive, and improving myself rather than try to change others or complain about my circumstances, but sometimes anger is necessary to break free from the bullshit.
That’s why I admire my ex-girlfriend for being with me for as long as she did – and now cutting off contact from me – because there was a lot of bullshit (both hers and mine) that needed to be dealt with. Sometimes I miss being with her, but in any case I admire, love, and respect her. Needing to move in with my mom has shown me her bullshit, and as yucky as it may be, I’d rather see it for what it is, and clean it up for good.
I want to respect my mom, but it’s more important that she respects herself. When she tells me about her problems in order to gain sympathy from me (especially about her idiot husband), I feel a surge of anger go through me, and it’s because she’s being a trifling person, and I’m definitely not trifling. As my mom, she needs to be proud of herself and her son, and it pisses me off when she acts like a victim.
There’s no one that knows it all, or is completely right about everything, and there’s no one that knows how you should live your life more than you. Not your parents, friends, lovers, or government. Your life is between you and your God/Source/Soul. I’ve tried my usual tricks on my ex, and I’m glad it hasn’t worked so that I’ll change my ways. Now my mom is trying her usual tricks on me, and I’m happy (and angry) to say that it isn’t working, either.