I applied for another job today, and this is how it was several months ago when I was doing all I could to find a job rather than move in with my mom. Living with her and her husband has been helpful, but also challenging. I’m glad that I did it, and it’s led to many meaningful experiences. I choose to live by my principles, values, and beliefs. I’d rather work at a job that’s not art-related, and rebuild my finances, than compromise myself. I’m not interested in writing about he-said, she-said type stuff. It’s a waste of life.
As I was writing this, my mom came into my room and gave me a hug, and I reluctantly hugged her back. This is the kind of emotional game that I’m tired of. I already know that I love and care about her (maybe more than is good for me). My tendency is to forgive and forget, and I think there’s value in that. However, I’ve decided that I need to move forward in a more positive way. I’ll let my mom and her husband figure themselves out. I won’t even go into why I’m so angry, because there are things I don’t feel like rehashing, and I also don’t need to justify the way I feel.
I plan on living with her for however long it feels right. I’m starting my life over again, and I have the whole world in front of me. The fact is, I already have a job as an illustrator, and I’m learning that I can have a variety of jobs, and it’s still part of my vocation. I’ll always be an artist, writer, and storyteller, even if I’m stocking shelves or washing dishes.