My experience with Bena’s passing away, or death, or transition, or whatever you want to call it, has made me clearer, more focused, and stronger. The same can be said for the break up of my relationship with Jess. And also for the time I’ve spent living with my mom at first, and then with my dad.
I’m sitting in the garage of the shop, where work is done, and the sounds of passing trains are constant. One of the shop cats is on the table in front of me; one of the little ones I’m calling Foxy. I slept for a while, then got up and fed the cats, made some coffee, lit some incense, and went out to sit with Bena by her tree.
Every day I realize how free I truly am, if I can see it. Pushing and pulling for and against things is part of life, but it’s not all there is. The intangible part of who we are is just as real.