I love authentic people, and living authentically is probably my highest value in life. When I love people, it’s about as authentic as humanly possible. With that said, one of my biggest lessons is that it’s not my job to save people.
When you’re authentic, your life becomes great, and not everyone is going to be comfortable with that. Sometimes you compromise yourself, but that’s not something you can keep up and be happy. I’ve had to let go and let God many times.
For idealistic people, burnout is a real danger. Our minds give us energy, but our body needs to rest and have real food, not just ideas. We need to take care of ourselves.
The treasure I seek is self-realization, but the great fear I have is letting go of the belief that I have to do something, that I have to prove my worth, or be somebody. It’s a paradox. The more I try to be who I am, the more I can’t be who I am.
What if we accepted that everything is unfolding perfectly? That it has always unfolded perfectly, and will always unfold perfectly. There’s a part of me that’s terrified to accept that–recoils at the thought–and yet it’s a deep understanding and key to the universe.
Where does meaningfulness come from? I don’t know, but I know it’s something we can feel. Our own unique path will always feel meaningful to us.
I’m focused on embodying myself these days–really feeling what it means to be me–so I’m not trying to use my intellect to be happy. Intrinsic motivation is the only thing that’s truly fulfilling. Life flows into open spaces.
I’m enjoying art, writing, and music. There’s nothing for me to solve anymore. I’ve gone through the tough stuff, and now all I want to do is appreciate everything.
I know that whatever has gone away can be replaced by something greater. This is what it means to be a (better) man. That’s what it means to be human.
A while back, I wrote about how anxiety could be helpful in terms of becoming more mindful. I’ve been feeling more anxiety than I have in years, and I’ve needed to focus on being more mindful once again. It’s a useful mental skill to have.
I’ve noticed how, during my ecstatic and joyful moments, limiting beliefs and negative emotions show up right after (I used to call it being manic depressive, or bipolar, or whatever). My solution is to not pursue an escape route or run away from this familiar pattern. Being mindful of the pattern–without doing anything that will add to or take away from it–creates a third way; one that transcends the problem.
When we think of things in terms of duality, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to find a solution to the problem. However, what if the solution is already an inherent part of the problem, and our role is to simply find a third way? Sometimes it feels like we have to choose between the lesser of two evils, but this can be liberating, because we can take the magical door that appears when we finally say “fuck it.”
We can call it giving up, retreating, or letting go, but maybe resigning is a more neutral term for withdrawing our energy from a futile endeavor. The anxiety and worry I’ve felt for as long as I’ve written this blog is like a fitfully sleeping dragon. The cycle of appeasement, in which I throw hapless victims into its hungry maw, is never ending.
Standing Our Ground
It is a process of letting go, of not trying to control the dragon of anxiety and worry. The dragon is obsessive, and the compulsion is to fight or flee. But what if we just stood our ground, and prove to ourselves (once and for all) that we won’t be burned by its flames?
Making the Unfamiliar Familiar
Anxiety and worry can become a habit, and habits can become our identity. The familiar way is to find the anxiety intolerable, while the unfamiliar is to be OK with it. So I don’t think anxiety and worry helps me, but I also don’t give it the power to hurt me, either.
After I finished my previous, rather plain looking journal, I decided to get something exceptionally nice this time around. It’s got a leather cover, and you can buy refills for it, which makes it a good value. Plus, it’s well-crafted and snazzy-looking.
I’ve become less sensitive to shocking situations. Of course, I’m still affected by them, but I’m able to remain optimistic in light of whatever is happening. I’ve learned from the teachings of Abraham to take the emotional hit, know that my desire’s been launched, and get myself in alignment with my new desire, which is in the direction of expansion and growth.
Rather than try to control things, which causes anxiety because there’s so many things outside of our control, the key is to train ourselves to be adaptable and capable. The Life Areas that I write about (and forms the backbone of this blog) are dynamic, in a state of continual change and evolution. The goal is to surf through the Life Areas and have fun when unexpected things inevitably occur.
This post was a draft I saved three years ago and hadn’t looked at since. After re-reading it this morning, I thought it deserved to be published. I’m not even sure where I got the beautiful picture of the lions from (let me know and I’ll credit the photographer).
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This week, I wrote about living in good faith vs. self-deception. I practice living in good faith by being honest with myself, acknowledging what I’m thinking and feeling, writing down my thoughts and doing my best to clearly articulate them, rather than habitually passing judgment on myself, avoiding, suppressing, or running away from what I’m thinking and feeling. I believe this builds self-acceptance and self-trust, and it’s an ongoing process (as with most things that are important). If we lack integrity with ourselves, we will lack integrity with others.
Then I wrote about dealing with emotional flare ups, which is also part of living in good faith. I’ve been learning to accept that my emotions are a legitimate part of who I am, and that respecting them is important. Gentleness is a virtue, although this goes against certain ingrained habits I have that want to ignore or power through emotions I don’t like. This causes inner conflict, and I’d rather have inner peace. However, peace requires work and the courage to live in good faith.
When we practice self-honesty and self-acceptance, we can then move on to having self-empathy, which is a genuine ability to relate to ourselves as a true friend. All of this builds inner strength, which is needed in order to live on purpose.
My daily intention is to cut through all the BS (and there’s a lot of it) so that I’m aligned with my True Self, which is about being who I really am, and doing what I’m really here to do. That may sound like a serious way to live–and sometimes it is–but I think of it as being passionate, soulful, and truthful, which is, to me, a great way to live.