Here’s my confession. I’m up at 5am, which I believe is due to mania, or something like that. This has been happening like clockwork at the beginning of the week. Fortunately, I don’t let anxiety take over like I used to. I know I’m getting manic when my dreams become especially vivid and disturbing.
I had this dream that I was hanging out with one of my cousins I hadn’t seen in years. She had her baby with her. Initially, this baby looked cute enough. I attempted to be nice to he/she/it, in the way someone who doesn’t like babies tries to be nice. The baby was walking around in that drunk astronaut walking on the moon kind of way, when it suddenly got on all fours and started crawling around really fast. As in, crazy chihuahua fast. If this wasn’t disturbing enough, his head (I could call it a he now) resembled someone I knew from high school. I’m trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with this baby, catch it, and feeling disturbed all at the same time.
I finally grab the thing. He’s wiggling around in a rather weird way. He’s wearing one of those baby long johns, the kind with a hatch at the rear, which I believe the technical term for it is the poop chute. It occurs to me that he might need to poop, because all babies need to poop. Too late. I try to open the release hatch, even as baby poop begins to leak out. At this point, I’m standing in the kitchen and swinging the demon baby toward the sink, but for some reason the poop is completely missing the sink. The whole time this baby is looking at me with the face of a high school acquaintance.
Then I woke up. I considered going back to sleep, but thought better of it.