I love authentic people, and living authentically is probably my highest value in life. When I love people, it’s about as authentic as humanly possible. With that said, one of my biggest lessons is that it’s not my job to save people.
When you’re authentic, your life becomes great, and not everyone is going to be comfortable with that. Sometimes you compromise yourself, but that’s not something you can keep up and be happy. I’ve had to let go and let God many times.
For idealistic people, burnout is a real danger. Our minds give us energy, but our body needs to rest and have real food, not just ideas. We need to take care of ourselves.
Choosing to no longer seek the approval of (and trying to please) others may be the most challenging thing we ever face. Sometimes anger is our only way out, but when the anger subsides, we can feel the familiar pull of old habits. However (and whenever) it happens, turning the corner is the difference between night and day.
The Great Equalizer
Happiness is the great equalizer. We can never really tell if anyone else is truly happy. We can never truly make anyone else happy unless they really want to be happy.
I have to admit that as focused and (authentically) happy as I am now, through everything I’ve learned and overcome, there’s still pain and resistance to being happy, which requires all of my wisdom (as well as others) in order to find peace. It takes a deep and abiding appreciation of the journey and the process of life. We weren’t born to please others; we were born to be true to ourselves, and the sooner we realize that, the better we’ll feel.
GBM Podcasts Are Back
The GBM Podcast episodes are now back online. I listened to them again, and realized how important it was for me to create them back in 2014. Awkward, self-conscious, and vulnerable, but also sincere and therapeutic, it was (and is) part of my ever evolving journey of authenticity. I plan on creating more podcasts and other multimedia content in the future.
Tarot Card Interpretations
The 7 of Swords describes my current situation. I moved on from living and working with my dad due to a clash between principles and values.
The King of Cups is the challenge. I look at it as having authority over my feelings, not letting other people dictate how I feel.
Temperance is the goal card. I’m experiencing profound changes that will resonate in all areas of my life. I’m finding my middle way.
The Fool is guidance. I’m finding my own place, and feel free and in touch with who I really am. I have faith and confidence in myself and life.
I’m in a writing kind of mood, so writing I shall do. I believe that life is an adventure, if we choose to see it that way. It’s definitely more fun as an adventure.
Earlier, I said that my relationship with my parents had improved, and it has, but not necessarily in the typical way. It’s improved in the sense that I choose to express myself more authentically. Sometimes that means expressing what I feel angry about.
On any given day, there’s adventure to be had. I’ve had an adventurous day. I like living an adventure.
It’s interesting (or ironic, considering it’s Father’s Day) that I’m finding my relationship with my dad challenging. I’m thinking about moving on from the shop, but I remember what a horrible state it was in when I first got here, and all the work I’ve put into improving things, and that makes me reconsider. In any case, improving the shop over the past year has been a big accomplishment.
Another accomplishment is that I’m my own friend, which I’ve said before, but it feels more and more meaningful as time goes by. I feel like I can be more of who I am (and feel good about it). That includes feeling angry, which I’ve tried to push away with little success.
The deep fear I used to feel has all but disappeared. I feel OK; that I can be OK no matter what, and that’s an accomplishment, too.
I’m writing for the joy of it. I work on cars to earn money, and I find that enjoyable, too. I enjoy being joyful.
I’m realizing that joy or enjoyment isn’t necessarily the jumping up kind. I feel fatigued right now, but I enjoy it. I’ll also enjoy not being fatigued.
My days are authentic, which is what I truly want. Of course, there are other things I want, but I feel fulfilled. That’s having inner joy.
For a while, it seemed like the way for me to get by in the world was to be inauthentic. I recoiled from that, inwardly if not outwardly, until I discovered my true self. Now, I’m realizing that it’s a circular path, and the difference between who I am, and who I think others want me to be, isn’t so different, after all.
It’s the agitations, frustrations, and irritations, and the way we adapt to them, that define who we are. A lot of times, I know what something is by knowing what it’s not. The part of me that knows who I am is at my center.
You’ll notice that I don’t give out advice, and generally drift away from handing out empty platitudes. I write for myself, but like being authentic, the difference between writing for myself and others isn’t so different, after all.