Choosing to no longer seek the approval of (and trying to please) others may be the most challenging thing we ever face. Sometimes anger is our only way out, but when the anger subsides, we can feel the familiar pull of old habits. However (and whenever) it happens, turning the corner is the difference between night and day.
The Great Equalizer
Happiness is the great equalizer. We can never really tell if anyone else is truly happy. We can never truly make anyone else happy unless they really want to be happy.
I have to admit that as focused and (authentically) happy as I am now, through everything I’ve learned and overcome, there’s still pain and resistance to being happy, which requires all of my wisdom (as well as others) in order to find peace. It takes a deep and abiding appreciation of the journey and the process of life. We weren’t born to please others; we were born to be true to ourselves, and the sooner we realize that, the better we’ll feel.
At the heart of re-inventing myself is the principle of intrinsic motivation and reward. Doing things for intrinsic reward means being uncompromisingly true. It’s unfamiliar territory, but the key is to make the unfamiliar familiar.
Intrinsic rewards feel satisfying, fun, interesting, fulfilling, right, good, and perfect. Trying to get extrinsically rewarded feels like second-guessing myself, self-doubt, approval-seeking, people-pleasing, fear-based, anxiety-driven, worrisome, comparing myself to and seeking validation from others. So yeah, intrinsic rewards are way better.
I’ve found that deciding to live from the inside out means not going back to the old ways of living. You can’t half-ass being true to yourself. You wouldn’t buy falseness from yourself, and neither will other people.
I have found that in being true to myself, compromise is compromising, and it is a weakness. I know when I’ve compromised myself, and that is always the greatest source of regret. It’s when you let yourself down that hurts the most.
I’ve strengthened my inner strength by not letting myself down, being my own best friend, and supporting myself, no matter how difficult it was at first.
My self-worth used to come from other people and external things, and it felt nearly impossible to unplug from that, but it is possible, and for me, the only way to live happily.
Approval-seeking and people-pleasing is an emotional addiction, and the only way out (that I’ve found) is to become hooked on your own soul.
Today, I’m as free as the day I was born. I feel innocent and pure. Not because I’m doing anything, but because I’ve chosen to be uncompromisingly true to myself.
Something I find amusing and mildly absurd is how many followers, comments, and likes certain blogs have. The funny thing is that some of these popular bloggers have been liking my posts for years (which I genuinely appreciate, by the way). I’m quite tickled by that.
I’ve mentioned before that I don’t understand how popularity works. I know it has (like everything else) something to do with the Law of Attraction. I wouldn’t say that my blog is popular, but at the same time, it’s not unpopular.
Anyway, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t care at all about being popular. I do care, but I care more about being true to myself. It would be great to have both.
A very early good morning to you all. I’m back from my night shift job. As usual, I feel cheerful and proud of myself.
I’m proud that I’m true to myself even though circumstances continually change. Even my understanding of what it means to be true to myself changes. I’ve never been able to limit being who I truly am.
There’s a spiritual way of experiencing life, and it takes an awareness and appreciation of the intangible, which really isn’t that strange. When I create art or write stories, it starts out as intangible thoughts and ideas. What we experience as life can also start out as a dream.
I feel better, calmer, clearer, somewhat sad, but overall connected to who I am. I’m allowing myself to be myself, and allowing other people to be who they are. That feels right to me.
I’m looking forward to making a new and improved start. That’s the opportunity I have. I’m focusing on living a happy and successful life aka a great life. I’m learning how to get along with people while being true to myself.
Maybe I needed to really feel the pain of not being who I am in order to know the value of being who I am. Now that I’m able to be my own source of love and approval, I feel on equal footing with everyone else.
I believe in going for the big prize, and the biggest prize of all is being true to yourself. Going for the big prize can feel like the most profound joy and deepest heartbreak, sometimes in the same day.
This is a time for new beginnings, and that’s a blessing. I have the things I need to start over; this time with more experience than before. I get to live by the things I’ve written about, which I find exhilarating.
I say what I mean, I mean what I say, and I do what I say I’m going to do. That’s what having integrity means to me. As wonderful as the love of a woman is, if she leaves, a man is left with nothing but his integrity. I’m glad that I remained faithful to who I am.