Focusing on (Self) Love


Sometimes I wonder why it’s so quick and easy for me to focus love onto others, but focusing that same love on myself feels foreign. It’s one of those unfamiliar things that I’m devoted to becoming familiar with. As I look upon myself with the same admiration, esteem, friendliness, and respect that I afford others, I feel at peace.



Birds of a Feather


Last Thursday, I learned that my uncle had died, and that started a chain of events that unfolded in an amazing way. My life has come around full circle; one of many turns of the cycle.

I woke up this morning to the sound of chirping, and found a baby bird hiding behind the fridge. I put it in a box, and soon heard chirping with an echo, and saw that another baby bird was stuck in the dryer vent. Thinking these little birdies might somehow be synchronistically connected to my uncle, I decided to take care of them, but more on that later.

3ofSwordsOne of the Tarot cards I drew this week was the 3 of Swords, which I don’t think anyone who’s into Tarot wants to get. I’ve definitely had heart-wrenching moments this week whenever I thought about my ex, but I feel like her avoidance of me is probably a good thing, because after I told her I loved her and her family, I knew that I could move on and be happy and successful whether she wanted to be with me or not. It seems like there must still be something between us for her to avoid me (even if it’s out of anger). I know that if she goes to bed happy, sleeps well, wakes up feeling great, has a wonderful day, and does that day after day, I’m sincerely happy for her. I don’t want to be an unhappy part of her life. I feel like I loved her before we met, I loved her while we were together, I love her now, and I’ll continue to love her forever.

Meanwhile, I went to the pet store to get the baby birds a place to stay and food to eat, but after attempting to feed them (unsuccessfully), I thought it would be better to let them go, so I took them outside, and they scampered away under some bushes. Maybe their mother will find them, but in any case, they seemed happier to be out in nature than under my clumsy care.

I’ve had moments of sadness this week, but there are too many great things happening, and I have too much going for me, and too much to offer the world – not to mention the right woman – that I’d have to purposefully make myself feel bad to stay that way. I know that all of my virtues, qualities, and talents have been cultivated and honed by the people I’ve met, and those I haven’t, so I have a lifetime’s worth of appreciation to appreciate.