My definition of humility is being neither too high nor too low in your estimation of yourself. In fact, the need to compare yourself to others is irrelevant when you’re truly humble. Humility requires self-honesty and sincerity.
Feeling like you’re better than others (and needing to put others down) is arrogance, which is the opposite of humility. Likewise, playing the martyr or victim is also a kind of arrogance, and not humble. It’s only through vigorous self-honesty that the true heart of humility can shine forth.
Being truly humble means being invisible, like the way nature is great without caring if anyone notices. It means living life for the greater good, which includes yourself and everyone else. It means withdrawing blame and taking on full responsibility for your choices.
It’s been a while, and now that the end of April is here, it seems that my life is changing in big ways yet again. For the past several months (almost a year), I’ve lived, worked, and written about life at the shop. While there are things I truly enjoy about what I’ve experienced here, I feel like it’s time for me to move on.
We all have our reasons for doing what we do, and I have mine. I don’t believe in pushing against things. I prefer to go with what my heart tells me.
It takes courage to do what I’m doing, and to do what I’ve done here at the shop. It’s been a while since I’ve felt genuinely proud of myself, which is to say, I feel like myself. My adventures continue.
The most important question for me right now is “what feels better?”
If someone were to ask me “why didn’t you do this (or that?)”
My answer would be “because I felt like doing this (other thing).”
My purpose in life isn’t to make someone’s life harder,
But it’s also not to make someone’s life easier.
My purpose is to be who I am.
Let’s say there are ten things in your life experience that are important to you, and that one thing isn’t going well, but the other nine are going well. If you would focus on the nine things that are going well, or even one of the nine things that are going well, that tenth thing would have to come into alignment. It would have to, because vibrationally you’ve cleaned it up. Vibrationally, you’re using the nine things that are going well as your reason for offering your vibration, which means you’re now getting impulses about everything else; you’re getting impulses about the thing that isn’t going well.
I do my best to focus on what’s working, and what feels good in my life. I know there are things that I could focus on that don’t seem fair, just, or right, but I know that’s my choice. I can empathize with people who have been hurt, or who are hurting right now. I know what it’s like to see no point in going on. All I can say is that – in the darkest time of my life – I found something within me that loves me unconditionally. I can’t make anyone else feel this love. All I can do is share my experiences. I don’t know why people do what they do. I know that everyone is doing their best to be happy in the way they know how, and I need to allow that for myself and others. I remind myself that whatever I think I’m losing, I’m actually gaining freedom, clarity, and truth. I’m connecting with my soul and being who I really am. That’s worth everything.
There is grace when we are carried by the wings of inspiration toward an idea, and we embrace that idea and accept the results of our endeavors — whatever it may be — there is grace.
No matter what happens today, we are graced with a new day. Moving forward is a kind of grace, especially if we have been stuck. Sometimes the best thing to do is make a wheel (no need to reinvent it) and roll on outta there.
We become what we focus on — for good or ill — and that is a choice. Life is about the choices we make, and gratefully/gracefully we can make new choices.
There is the grace of a new beginning, a new adventure, a new day, and we can project whatever hopes or fears we want upon it.
We come into the world with a natural sense of what is right for us, until we learn how to second-guess and doubt ourselves. We can forget that we have an inner compass, but our true north will always point the way.
Paying attention to what everyone else is doing is a sure way of going around in circles. Paying attention to what feels right to us — as individuals — will lead us home.
At some point we find ourselves faced with an important choice; to believe in ourselves or not. It’s a choice only we can make.
A true story
When I was two years old, I stepped foot on the shores of America as a Laotian refugee of the Vietnam War, thus beginning my odyssey to find my place in the world.
Feeling like I didn’t fit in was terrifying.
Suffering through traumatic experiences as an only child resulted in “maladaptive coping strategies”. But the wounds are healing, and I’m getting better, man.
* * *
Some of us have been told, either directly or indirectly, that who we are, and the things we care about, don’t matter, or at least don’t matter as much as some other things. We’ve been made to feel, through social conformity and peer pressure, that we don’t know what to do, what to say, or how to be.
It doesn’t help to pretend we’re something we’re not, trying to fit in at all costs. It also doesn’t help to pretend we’re less than who we’re capable of being.
One, it doesn’t solve the problem, and two, it sends the wrong message.
We need to believe in ourselves, and be true to ourselves, which means knowing who we are, through and through. We need to live a true story.
- Connecting to the Higher Self (gettingbetterman.wordpress.com)
- Showing Courage (gettingbetterman.wordpress.com)
There’s a crucial decision every self-improver needs to make, and that’s whether they choose to hurt themselves, or
hurt help themselves (I just Freudian slipped by writing ‘hurt’ twice).
So right, I ask myself whether I want to help or hurt myself, which seems like such a basic question, but has proven to be a tough lesson.
One of the problems is that I’ve been unclear about what would actually help me. I’ve spent years living in crisis mode. I knew I needed to help myself or risk going under.
There seems to be something inside me that distrusts the help I give myself. I’ve had to earn my own trust. Earning my own trust means keeping promises to myself, like writing every day.
Of course, there’s a thrill to self-hurting. Pain can become an escape.
I’ve learned that beyond the pain there’s a beautiful world filled with joy, hope, and love.