As I went about my Sunday routines, I had the realization that I’ve barely scratched the surface of who I truly am. This is both exciting and frustrating. There’s so much that I want to create and express.
Creating things willy-nilly isn’t all that satisfying, either. Part of the fun is in connecting with others. Of course, there’s also the issue of making a living.
Rather than fighting the form and structure, I’m learning from it. Boundaries have their uses, after all. Focus is the key.
I work and learn a lot every day; seven days a week. Afterwards, I watch movies, drink beer, and play guitar. When I feel inspired, I blog.
On any given day, I experience things that I love. When I experience things that I don’t love, I practice focusing on the good. This has proven to be powerful.
The things I’ve experienced before the past year have been amazing, but the past year has been even more so. I’ve grown in ways that I used to write about in my journals. I’ve shared my experiences with the readers of my blog for years, and deeply appreciate knowing what I write is connecting with others.
I received a very nice email from one of the readers of my blog, and I really appreciate it. It goes to show that what I write connects with people in ways that I don’t completely realize, but I do have a sense of. It’s also a way for me to connect to something bigger than myself.
I’m writing this under Bena’s tree, which is a first. It’s evening, there’s a cool breeze, and there’s the sound of huffing and puffing from the factory behind the shop. I feel like I’m part of some kind of play.
I enjoy having a positive effect on people, but my main focus is to align with my True Self, which happens to create positive results. It’s strange to think that Bena’s gone, just like it’s strange to think that Jess is gone. But I realize that the people (and beings) I love are always with me.
My cat, Bena, seems to be eating a little bit, which is a relief. She’s been adjusting to our new life, and feeling kind of stressed out. Whatever happens, I love and appreciate her.
I woke up from a weird dream. Earlier tonight, I felt very emotional about Bena and all of the changes I’ve (we’ve) been experiencing. I choose and continue to be my own friend.
Sometimes the world seems crazy and doesn’t make any sense. I’m learning to trust myself. By trusting myself, I connect to something eternal.
My mom came by the shop and gave my dad and me some food and winter clothes. The three of us sat together and talked for a while, and it was actually a very special moment. Before that happened, my dad and I were talking about moving to Hawaii.
I enjoy showing my appreciation by lighting incense around the shop, and we always seem to receive what we need. Sometimes what I need isn’t what I was expecting. The main thing is to flow with the flow.
The most important thing for me is to make a true connection, whether it’s with my Self, or with others. I live day to day, yet I’m also following my dreams. What felt like a loss is a gain beyond measure.
Life feels complex and simple all at the same time. With that said, simplicity feels like a relief. The more I simplify, the more things make sense.
I’m sitting in the shop writing and breathing. Last year, I sat by myself writing and breathing and crying. I didn’t plan this; I couldn’t have planned it, or did I?
So here we are at this moment in time. We’ve connected in ways we’re not even sure of.
I woke up this morning and listened to Abraham on my iPod while working on a bumper. Now I’m having coffee while my dad takes a nap, which means I’m also keeping an eye on the shop (and have some time to write). My focus, as usual, is on being true to myself.
My life and my world is fascinating to me. I know that we share the world, but our experiences are individual. It’s that desire to connect which intrigues me.
It’s a curious thing. It’s taken less freedom externally for me to feel more free internally. I want to be who I really am, and I want to be happy, too.