Waking Up at 3am (Again)

I woke up from yet another dream at 3am, which tends to happen when I’m going through big changes in my life. In my dream, I literally had a phone call that woke me up. My mind’s a prankster.

As I’m thumb typing this post – about to go back to sleep – I’m conscious of wanting to be less conscious. What I mean is that I associate dreaming with my subconscious (whatever that is). I want to write this from a spontaneous place.

“Through thick and thin” is a sentiment that’s important to me, but instead of applying it to other people, I’m applying it to my relationship with myself.



Emotions and Desire


The difference between night and day really is like night and day. In the morning, my level of optimism rises like the sun. I have to admit that writing about emotions all week has dramatically shifted my level of emotional awareness, plus it’s been fun. Today, I want to tie some of what I’ve been talking about together by discussing some powerful ideas I’ve realized over the years as it relates to emotions.

By now I think you can accept that everything is energy, but why do we have emotions? The simple yet profound answer is that there’s only one source energy, and this source energy came into being because of desire – which is also our desire since we come from the same source – and it’s our relationship to our desire that gives us the feeling of emotions. You might be wondering what the purpose of desire is, and my intuition tells me it’s for the development of consciousness. The universe wants to become conscious of itself, which is essentially the same desire that we, as humans, have. But that’s somewhat of another topic.

Some people say they don’t know what they want or desire, but really they do know what they want, because every cell in our body has a desire, and we’re constantly emitting our desire out into the universe. I think what happens is that we’re so used to hearing from people around us the sentiment of “I want this, but…” that we come to believe in limitations and powerlessness.

The belief that we want something, but (insert any ol’ limitation) is what gives us resistance to our desire, which feels bad, hence the term “what a drag.” We give the varying levels of resistance to our desire different names, depending on how resistant we are, with complete dis-empowerment and despair being at the very low end of the spectrum. On the other hand, if our belief is more like “I want this, and…” then we’re allowing our desire to flow, which feels like positive emotions.

It’s funny because we’re so conditioned to be afraid and believe in powerlessness that we almost immediately want to put limitations on not only our own desires, but other people’s, too. It’s the resistance to desire that’s actually the cause of negative emotions. It’s limiting beliefs which makes us think we need to compete against or hurt one another in order to get what we want. Think about it, the world is huge, and the universe is infinite, yet we squabble and bicker over space, resources, and even relationships. The solution is to become more conscious, which is what I believe is our true desire.

Emotions Week isn’t over yet, so I’ll write some more about emotions as inspiration strikes, but I think there’s some pretty good stuff to chew on in this article.


Unlearning (Beliefs about Money)


Part of my journey these days is to unlearn the things I’ve picked up along the way that don’t serve me anymore.

The process of unlearning means letting go of previously held beliefs and ideas that are false, outdated, and unproductive. This can be difficult because many of our beliefs are subconscious, and we may have emotional reasons for hanging onto them, so they create blind spots in our consciousness. Sometimes things just have to get so bad that we have to do something about it.

We unlearn things in order to make room for knowledge that is more accurate, resonant, and truthful to who we really are, and how life really is.

Currently, I’m unlearning beliefs I’ve had about the life areas of finances/jobs, and career/vocation. These terms are used in casual conversation, but I realized I don’t truly understand their meaning, even though they have a huge impact on my quality of life, so I’m unlearning/relearning what they mean to me.

In a talk given by Alan Watts, he says:

The difference between having a job and having a vocation is that a job is some unpleasant work you do in order to make money, with the sole purpose of making money. There are plenty of jobs because there is still a certain amount of dirty work that nobody wants to do, and that therefore they will pay someone to do it. There is essentially less and less of that kind of work because of mechanization. If you do a job with the sole purpose of making money, you are absurd, because if money becomes the goal–and it does if you work that way–you begin increasingly to confuse it with happiness or with pleasure. Yes, one can take a handful of crisp one dollar bills and practically water your mouth over it, but this is a kind of person who is confused like a Pavlov dog, who salivates on the wrong bell.

I can definitely relate to that, and it’s something I noticed my parents and other adults struggling with while I was growing up. I think most of us like the feeling of doing a good job, but when money (or the fear of survival) becomes the sole purpose of doing it, it takes all the joy and meaning out of what we do.

I want to do things because I enjoy it, it has personal meaning to me, and I see the purpose in doing it. Sometimes that will mean being paid to do a job, running my own a business, or both, but I want to know what my intentions and motivations are behind what I’m doing.

This is a work in progress, and I’ll be sure to write more about it.


image credit: Pixabay

The 8 C’s

Francesco_Torniello_da_Novara_Letter_C_1517Being fond of alliterations and lists, I came up with eight values, one for each of my Life Areas, that I’m using to guide me on my journey. I call them The 8 C’s. Like the Buddha said, these are subject to change.

The 8 C’s

  1. Confident (Body)
  2. Clear (Mind)
  3. Calm (Emotions)
  4. Conscious (Spirit)
  5. Cool (Finances)
  6. Creative (Work)
  7. Communication (Relationships)
  8. Contribution (Social)

The 8 C’s remind me of what I want and where I’m going in each Life Area.

Confident, Clear, Calm, Conscious, Cool, Creative, Communication, Contribution

Confident: This reminds me that I want to have a strong, confident body, and to do that I must take care of it.
Clear: I want my mind to be clear so that I know what I want and where I’m going in life.
Calm: My emotions are volatile. I want to be more calm, or at least know how to calmly ride the waves.
Conscious: I sense that we’re here because the universe wishes to be conscious (whatever that means), so I want to be more conscious.
Cool: Money buys cool things, like food and shelter, so I want and need money.
Creative: Creativity is the thread that runs through all my work. I need to create!
Communication: To me, communication is the key to relationships. I want to master the art of communicating with people.
Contribution: I want to inspire, give something back, and leave a legacy.

Knowing The 8 C’s gives me a sense of purpose. It’s only a matter of time, patience, determination, and a healthy dose of luck before I accomplish my goals. You can come up with a value for each of your Life Areas, too. They don’t have to start with C. Use alliteration with another letter, or come up with a cool acronym like all the self-improvement gurus.

Did you know

I started a Getting Better, Man Facebook page. I want it to be a hub for all the self-improvement material I create and find. I also want people to share inspiring, helpful, positive comments, messages, and resources. I’m still working on it, but come on over and say hi.

I’m part of Post A Day 2012, so thanks for reading another one of my daily posts. Your feedback is very much appreciated. Remember to make today a better day!

image credits: Francesco Torniello da Novara, Letter C, 1517, Wikimedia Commons