I’ve just had a realization about most of the relationships I’ve experienced so far, and why I’ve often struggled with them. I’m deeply honest and sincere, and while that may seem like a virtue, in many relationships (that I’ve experienced) that’s actually something people are afraid of. That doesn’t mean it’s wrong for me to be sincere, but that I’m just not around like-minded (or ‘like-hearted’) people.
For example, I understand that people are going to be self-interested; I believe in that, actually. However, let’s say someone in a (romantic) relationship with me says they would be happier by ending the relationship–I genuinely support that–but what I don’t support is not being honest and up-front about it, and basically making me the bad guy in order to have an excuse to break up. Or maybe someone is talking about improving their life in some way; I wholeheartedly care and want them to do it, and I want to support them in whatever way I’m able to.
What I don’t like (or understand) is when I’m talking about improving my life–or being honest and sincere with someone–and I’m met with disinterest, falseness, or even passive-aggressiveness. Because I very much want to get along with people, I used to contort myself in all sorts of ways that ultimately left me feeling depressed. Now, instead of beating up and betraying myself, I choose to stand by my values and attract people who value the same things as I do.
Perhaps it’s not a bad thing to form a callous over the heart; not to have a hardened heart, but one that can sustain us. A healthy and passionate heart is one that pulses with life, but not one that’s bleeding all over the place. A strong heart maintains integrity.
There’s an invisible wall between the mundane and the magical. The wall is a well placed illusion, and there’s a reason it’s a mystery (because you’re meant to find it for yourself).
The great treasure of life is true self-worth, and once it’s found, all lies dissolve.
Shedding away the old can be a painful experience. I feel layers of my old self peeling and revealing a big heart. I choose to love unconditionally.
I’m not trying to be a good person. I want to be who I really am. I’m much more than I thought.
To be a bigger person, the old shell has to be discarded. I embrace this bigger life. I appreciate and love myself, my life, my family, friends, guides, mentors, and teachers.
Yesterday went by quicker than I thought, and I didn’t post. Now I’m sitting in the garage, and waiting for sleep. I’m realizing that simplicity and sincerity are powerful principles that can melt (and move) glaciers.
Sometimes memories and thoughts bombard me, and the best thing I can do is make space for it. There’s space within my heart; more than I realized. I’m realizing that the things that matter, matter, and the things that don’t, don’t.
If I’m the creator of my reality, then I ask myself what my reasons would be for creating this reality. To know who I truly am, to know my true power, to be who I truly am, and reflect that into the world. In the light of truth, fear dissolves.
I’ve attained a level of seriousness that I believe is good for me. Being serious means I’m clear about who I am, and I’m focused on being who I am. I think pain can make you stronger.
Ultimately, it’s about being happy. That’s at the heart of who I am. I choose to honor and follow my heart.
Within the pieces of a broken heart, grows a bigger and stronger heart.
Sometimes, when it really hurts, I feel stupid for giving my heart to a woman, but that’s not who I am; I don’t love half way. I remember consciously choosing to love this woman with all of my heart. I would have lived and died for her, and there were times I felt a tinge of fear, because I knew how painful it would be to lose her.
I don’t want to live in a world where I’m not supposed to feel this way about somebody, but I also don’t want to be an idiot. I know my value. I know what I have to offer. I know who I am.
I haven’t lost anything. I’ve gained the world, and my soul. I’m not limited to playing a bit part, but instead I’m the main character of my life. Everything that needed to happen has happened in order for me to know who I am, and many times it’s knowing who I am not that’s given me the most clarity.
I choose to walk my soul’s path, which I used to think of as climbing the mountain, but now it feels more like soaring over the mountains. I know that I can transcend any perceived limitations to being who I truly am. I know that who I am, and what I create, is meaningful. I know that feelings of jealousy, envy, and resentment are signs that are pointing to my own greatness wanting to be expressed.
I’m realizing that I have a big heart, and it loves everyone and everything unconditionally.
I’m realizing what it means to love without wanting something in return (although my little heart still wants what it wants).
I’m realizing that my big heart can take all the pain that my little heart feels, and turn it into more love.
I’m realizing that my big heart has never led me astray, even if I sometimes worry that it will (or that it has).
I’m realizing that my big heart only wants the best for myself and others.
I’m realizing that my big heart is the heart of my soul, and my little heart is the heart of my ego.
My little heart – fragile and sensitive – is now held within my big heart, like a pearl of wisdom.
I’m realizing that the same big heart that is able to love everyone and everything, can also love me, too.
My big heart is what all my work has been about, and what I’ve been looking for.
My big heart is the longed for brother and sister, or loving parent, or best friend, or great love.
I have depths to my soul, depths to my capacity for being loving that I thought was there, but am now truly realizing.
I am my big heart.