A rather stunning revelation I’ve had is that I don’t treat myself fairly…at all. Well, I’ve suspected it for a while, but these days I’m really onto it. Some of the most revealing insights come to us as we’re waking up.
Crossing the Threshold
I believe in the Hero’s Journey, and right now it feels like I’m crossing the threshold. Things have happened in such a way that I can never go back to who I thought I was. Being free is completely exciting and terrifying in turns.
Why can I be so passionate about other people, so eager to please, but feel so cold and negligent towards myself? I’m not letting myself off the hook until I can truly answer the question. Layers of illusions peel away when we fearlessly get to the heart of the matter.
I’m not sure what I’m going to write about, although I have an infinite amount of things to write about. If all I get out of this — and am able to convey — is a sense of appreciation, then my intentions would have been realized.
When I think of Getting Better, Man, I think about progress. “Getting” what? Getting the answers to the big questions, getting what I want out of life. “Better” how? Better in every way, better understanding, better experience. “Man” who? Me, specifically, but also what it means to be human.
In some form or another, I’ve dipped into my subconscious pool, and have been pulled in by its seductive and tantalizing waters. There’s a dreamland of neverending promises in the languid depths of the subconscious. It’s where the wild things are — and aren’t. It takes a brave soul to venture into the underworld, but the rewards are beyond comprehension.
In Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey, there’s a part that’s called “The Magic Flight” and “Rescue from Without”, and if I were to follow this template (and I do), I believe that’s where I’m at on my journey. In order to receive the treasure from the gods and monsters, one has to be a bit of a trickster, which I think is the saving grace of human beings.
So how do I go about returning to society with the fire I’ve stolen from the gods? Against my will, it seems. Life is yanking me out of my blissful reverie, and asking for its recompense. I was tricky in procuring the treasure, and I’ll be tricky in sharing it.
California Death Valley Coyote