Neverending Appreciation

I feel a deep appreciation at how far I’ve come in the past few years. Journaling, writing, blogging, and art have been true companions long before and after people have come and gone. I know what it’s like to be left out in the cold and hung out to dry.

Though protected, my heart isn’t bitter. I still have a sense of wonder. Appreciation flows through me.

There’s no part of me that I’ve ever been able to extinguish. I’ve only ever grown. Self-acceptance is, as I see it, my only road to salvation.



Being Optimistic


After I finished my previous, rather plain looking journal, I decided to get something exceptionally nice this time around. It’s got a leather cover, and you can buy refills for it, which makes it a good value. Plus, it’s well-crafted and snazzy-looking.


I’ve become less sensitive to shocking situations. Of course, I’m still affected by them, but I’m able to remain optimistic in light of whatever is happening. I’ve learned from the teachings of Abraham to take the emotional hit, know that my desire’s been launched, and get myself in alignment with my new desire, which is in the direction of expansion and growth.

The Unexpected

Rather than try to control things, which causes anxiety because there’s so many things outside of our control, the key is to train ourselves to be adaptable and capable. The Life Areas that I write about (and forms the backbone of this blog) are dynamic, in a state of continual change and evolution. The goal is to surf through the Life Areas and have fun when unexpected things inevitably occur.



Closing (and Opening) the Chapter


As I finish up the last page of a journal, I like to think about the closing of one chapter in life, and the opening of another. A chapter of life can sometimes be a few months, or sometimes a few years. This journal started on April of 2015, and now it’s February of 2017.

The adventures I’ve chronicled in these pages represent one of the most heroic periods of my life. I’ve always wanted to have self-confidence and be proud of myself, and I was able to prove that (to myself) these past couple of years.

Of course, the best part now is finding a new journal.



Lovingly Kept


17 journals lovingly kept over the past 14 years (and counting). It all started with cheap journals from Borders (when Borders was still around). Countless words and hours; there’s a person’s life within those pages.

This post was inspired by The Daily Post.

Making Coffee (and Learning Social Skills)


Insight can show up during rather mundane moments, like this morning. I continue to have my adventures of living with my mom and her husband. It feels ridiculous to call him my step-dad. He doesn’t – and hasn’t – acted like a dad to me. He’s more like an older brother, which is gross. With that said, I do my best to respect their relationship, and appreciate their assistance.

I mentioned before that I often make coffee for me and “Bill” (my mom’s husband). This morning, I didn’t know he had the day off, so I didn’t make enough for him (I don’t use a coffee maker, so it’s a bit more involved process). As I’m finishing up, he comes out of his room in a socially awkward way, and seemed to want some coffee, but didn’t say anything, so I went to my room.

As I did my morning journaling, I felt inner conflict, and wanted to understand why. I could have offered to make him some coffee, but that didn’t feel right. After some contemplation, I realized that if he had asked, I would have been fine with it, but since he didn’t, it didn’t feel right for me to offer, so I learned something about myself, and what feels right to me regarding social interactions.

Anyway, he can make his own cup of coffee.


365 Days of Appreciation


One of the most effective and important things you can do in order to have more clarity and be more contemplative is to keep a journal.

This is especially true these days because we’re swimming in a sea of information–people telling us what we should be, what we should think, and what we should buy–kind of like this article, so the irony isn’t lost on me.

Well, the articles I write aren’t so much about dishing out advice as it is an ongoing autobiographical memoir, but anyway, my point is that keeping a journal is vital if you think a lot, and writing down things you appreciate is vital if you feel a lot.

So, for the last year I’ve been keeping a list of appreciations, but I’ve been doing it with a twist. As I go about my day, I deliberately pause after I do something and write down the activity (actually I type it, since I use my phone). This helps me to be more mindful, self-aware, and honest, while helping me be less judgmental and unconscious about what I’m doing.

For example, when I wake up, the first thing I do is make an entry in my list of appreciations like this:

  • Sleeping

This reminds me that being able to sleep comfortably really is something to appreciate. There are people who don’t even get to do that. Then I feed my cat, so I put in:

  • Being with Beans

This reminds that even though my cat goes crazy sometimes, I do appreciate having her around.

Then I make some coffee:

  • Having coffee

You get the idea. Sometimes I do it right after the activity, and sometimes I’ll input several of them at different parts of the day.

Since today is my 365th day of doing this, I wanted to share this technique with you, and also give it a rest to see what my experiment has taught me. I’ll either keep it going or do something else that’s similar.

Let’s make today a better day!


image credit: Pixabay

Getting up at Dawn


I got up at dawn thinking about the meaning of life. Every morning is a celebration, and a leap into uncertainty.

I view this as my public journal (not to be confused with a ‘pubic journal’, but that’s another, altogether more Freudian topic).

Some of the things I write in my private journal would be good to share with others, and some of the things I’ve shared with others might be better off being kept personal. Either way, it’s writing.

Thoughts are a way of containing life, language is a way of containing thoughts, writing is a way of containing language; like a giant, cosmic Matryoshka doll.

We’re always looking for a way to contain things, to structure our day, and give order to chaos.

This is our ego at work; it is the ego’s work.

We have an ego; we are not our ego. That’s spirituality 101.

I’ve been content for over a decade keeping my own counsel within the pages of my journals. What I want to do here is to inspire others, as I’ve been inspired. I think I do that, and that’s the most fulfilling aspect.

My ego, of course, likes the approval, accomplishment, the sense that what I do matters and exists.

I’ve been thinking about alter-egos and sub-personalities. These seem as real to me as the persona I present to the world, which is to say, not that real at all. It seems like they’re the ones who decide to wear the masks and traipse around on stage.

I asked myself the question “who am I, really?” and it seems like who I really am is always in a state of change and transition. And yet, there’s something about me that has watched all of these changes take place.

We’re dynamic beings, not static and dead edifices. We all want to be free, but some of us need more stability than others.

These are the thoughts I had this morning–somewhat varied–but coming from the same source. For some reason this seems like a good time for me to say namaste, so…



image credit: Pixabay