Fulfilling Your Prophecy


A selffulfilling prophecy is a prediction that directly or indirectly causes itself to become true, by the very terms of the prophecy itself, due to positive feedback between belief and behavior.

That’s the amazing and also scary thing about self-improvement, which is really another term for truth-seeking; when you have the courage to face the truth about who you truly are, your life will change in miraculous and sometimes terrifying ways.

When I look back at some of the things I wrote down years ago, the power and truth of it takes my breath away. I was intuitively prophesying my own future. It hasn’t always been easy, but it’s been immeasurably meaningful.



Being Accountable

The shop cats woke me up, so I decided to make a cup of coffee and write, contemplating the idea of being accountable; to myself, others, and life. I look over to the side and see this rather alien landscape that I call my bedroom. Things can be surreal at 3am.

There’s power in being accountable. There can also be fear, guilt, and shame. It’s the difference between choosing to be the creator of your reality or a victim of circumstance.

Once we discover our personal power, we can’t go back to being victims. I take responsibility for how I respond to things. I choose to be accountable.


The Purpose of the Journey

Something that I’m getting used to and practicing every day is the idea that it’s not the opinions of others that matter, but rather it’s my opinion of their opinions that matter. I can attest to the better feelings and lightheartedness that this way of living engenders. You see, everything we experience must go through our personal filter of opinions anyway, so being able to choose our own opinions about things (which everyone is able to do, with practice) allows us to control our perception of life.

For example, if my opinion of myself is such that no matter what happens, I choose to be my own friend, then that’s how I’ll be, and subsequently feel better for it. Let’s say that I notice – or worry about – someone’s opinion of me. I’ve got to get to the point where my opinion of myself has more authority than someone else’s, otherwise there’s no way for me to be free (and happy).

Much of this blog has been about my journey to get to the point where I can feel and know my personal power. The circumstances of my life have been good and bad – over and over – and my happiness and unhappiness went up and down with it – over and over – but I’m free of that now. All I’ve ever really wanted was to know who I am, and be who I am. I’ve come to the conclusion that if you’re not able to be yourself, you can’t be happy, so you have to want to be happy first of all, and you have to know yourself, which is the purpose of the journey.


(Not) Arguing for Limitations

Have you ever argued for your limitations; blaming, complaining, giving excuses and justifying why you’re doing something, or why something is (or isn’t) happening the way it is? I know that I have, and continue to do so, and it can be exasperating. It seems like 80% of the thoughts that cross my mind are limiting beliefs, and they want me to argue for them. The thing about beliefs is that they seem real, otherwise they wouldn’t be beliefs.

Once you reach a certain point, it’s probably better to drop most of your beliefs – or preconceived notions – and look at the world through your own eyes, rather than through filters. Long held beliefs can turn into prejudices, biases, fears, limitations, and excuses, all of which weigh you down and distort your perception of reality. That’s one good thing about a shake-up in life; it makes all of the false premises come tumbling down.

I’m aware of and accept (and allow) that the process of letting go of limiting beliefs, or no longer arguing for my limitations, is a gradual, day to day practice. I realize that my mind can have a tendency to focus on the reasons why something won’t work, or can’t be that way, and I know that this is resistance to my personal power. I remind myself that anything is possible.


Creating New Patterns

If we find ourselves stuck in patterns that are negative, self-defeating, and unproductive, it’s important to use our personal power to create new patterns. The purpose of creating new patterns is to empower ourselves.

Here are some examples from my own life. There’s a part if me that dreads hanging out with my stepdad when he gets home. This was very apparent to me when I first moved in with him a few months ago. I already had my own way of life that I was used to, but now I needed to create new patterns.

One of the things I do is make us coffee when he gets home. I take pride in making a good cup of coffee. This simple coffee ritual is surprisingly effective at creating harmony. I can see why different cultures have customs that they adhere to, because it creates social bonds and promotes peaceful coexistence.

As it turns out, I’ve learned to get along with my stepdad and actually enjoy hanging out with him to a certain extent, and even when I don’t, it’s still part of my self-improvement. If I can get along with him, I can get along with anyone.

Another example is when I’m feeling anxious about, well, pretty much everything. My new pattern is to be my own friend. It’s taken some time to accept this new pattern as my default one. Like the relationship with my stepdad, if I can get along with myself, I can do anything.

I think it’s better to leave the old pattern we’re wanting to change alone, and develop the new, more self-empowering pattern until we prove to ourselves that it’s the better choice. It may take a while, but it’s worth it.


Making the Best of It

It’s been a week since we moved into the new apartment. The weekends can sometimes be the worst, because I’m around my mom and stepdad more than the weekdays. Today has been irritating, but I know it’s up to me to make the best of it.

It really irritates me when my mom kisses up to my stepdad (or me, or anyone else, for that matter). It’s gross and makes me physically ill. My level of respect for this man is already at the bare minimum. I won’t go into details about my mom’s passive aggressive stunts, or my stepdad’s epic laziness.

It seems like my mom is with this guy for emotionally needy reasons, because I don’t think he’s good for her, but I respect their relationship, and I appreciate their assistance.

He’s decided to start using the bathroom right next to my bedroom, although he has a bathroom inside his own bedroom (which I don’t use, of course). That kind of thing gets on my nerves, and he does a lot of things like that. I don’t know if he thinks it’s good, or he doesn’t care, or he’s a moron, but in any case, I want to have very little to do with him.

I considered this little corner of the apartment my personal space, and I liked the idea of having my own bathroom, but the fact that I feel the need to bite my tongue about it shows me how much power I really have in this situation. I could say something, but I think the path of least resistance would be to suck it up for now and find my own place as soon as I can.

The funny thing is, I know they don’t mean to do anything bad, especially toward me. I know that they care about me, and it’s my own attitude that makes me perceive things a certain way. I can see the good in the situation, mostly.

A part of me still wants to be rescued, still wants mommy and daddy to be happy, but I know that I’m a grown man. I’m a powerful creator, not a victim of circumstance. I don’t need to confront my mom or stepdad about everything that bothers me, although I’m glad that I’ve done it when I felt the need to. I can love my mom and respect my stepdad without betraying my personal integrity.