As I went about my Sunday routines, I had the realization that I’ve barely scratched the surface of who I truly am. This is both exciting and frustrating. There’s so much that I want to create and express.
Creating things willy-nilly isn’t all that satisfying, either. Part of the fun is in connecting with others. Of course, there’s also the issue of making a living.
Rather than fighting the form and structure, I’m learning from it. Boundaries have their uses, after all. Focus is the key.
Being honest with myself and taking the third way.
It’s early in the morning and I talk about being a Libra and an INFP. Existentialism somehow crept in there, too.
I’m enjoying coffee and incense on a cold Sunday night. I contemplate fulfillment and happiness, and feel fulfilled and happy. I was drawn to write, so I am.
I suppose this is a kind of poetry, what I write on my blog. It’s certainly a meditation, and maybe therapy. It’s definitely evolved.
It’s all connected; the outer surface of things, and the deeper meanings. Problem and solution are so close together as to be one and the same. I’m crafting a philosophy and road testing it.
It’s a hot and humid day, and as I do my work, I have lots of thoughts I want to share with you, but as it goes, what I write doesn’t quite keep up with what I think. I think about all manner of things, from heaven and earth and everything in between. What I feel good about today is that I’m cleaning the garage, which also happens to be my bedroom.
I work on cars every day, and when I’m not working, I play the guitar. I’m literally in a garage band. All the while, I continue to philosophize.
I couldn’t have planned my life to be the way it has been, or the way it is now. Then again, I believe a bigger part of me has already planned much of this. I’ve learned not to make promises I can’t keep, but after many ups and downs, I can promise myself that I’m finally my own friend.
I’m having a typically special cup of coffee this early morning. Bad news is on the news; crime, tragedy, war, and wannabe presidents. Maybe I’ve become more sensitive, or numb.
Men and women come and go. I get to play at being a philosopher. I yam what I yam.
People want to be right. Some of us want to be happy. “Experts say beauty can influence a person’s paycheck.”
Self-improvement is a continual process, and it’s a process of purification and refinement. The insight I have this morning is that everything I think in regards to my environment is a projection of unconscious parts of my psyche, and these projections are like raw material for me to refine myself. Things that I find irritating about other people, or conditions that I don’t like, can be thought of as psychic energy that can be harnessed toward self-improvement.
Everything is the self, for all intents and purposes. I’m experiencing things as myself, after all. I can only imagine what it’s like to experience things from another point of view, but ultimately this is my point of view. Unconscious material is continually being refined into consciousness. There are levels and degrees of unconsciousness and consciousness; it’s a spectrum. You could say that the more negative our thoughts and emotions, the more unconscious we are, but at the same time, the more fuel we have to become conscious.
How do these concepts play out in day to day life? This is my understanding: everything we perceive activates what we call “thoughts”, and every thought has a value attached to it, which we call “emotions.” To the degree that we react to these thoughts and emotions, we are unconscious. To the degree that we are able to choose among these thoughts and emotions, we are conscious. Consciousness, then, is the ability to know the difference between who you are and your projections.