Speaking My Truth

Being honest with myself and taking the third way.

Being Libra and INFP

It’s early in the morning and I talk about being a Libra and an INFP. Existentialism somehow crept in there, too.

Road Testing

I’m enjoying coffee and incense on a cold Sunday night. I contemplate fulfillment and happiness, and feel fulfilled and happy. I was drawn to write, so I am.

I suppose this is a kind of poetry, what I write on my blog. It’s certainly a meditation, and maybe therapy. It’s definitely evolved.

It’s all connected; the outer surface of things, and the deeper meanings. Problem and solution are so close together as to be one and the same. I’m crafting a philosophy and road testing it.


Working and Playing

It’s a hot and humid day, and as I do my work, I have lots of thoughts I want to share with you, but as it goes, what I write doesn’t quite keep up with what I think. I think about all manner of things, from heaven and earth and everything in between. What I feel good about today is that I’m cleaning the garage, which also happens to be my bedroom.

I work on cars every day, and when I’m not working, I play the guitar. I’m literally in a garage band. All the while, I continue to philosophize.

I couldn’t have planned my life to be the way it has been, or the way it is now. Then again, I believe a bigger part of me has already planned much of this. I’ve learned not to make promises I can’t keep, but after many ups and downs, I can promise myself that I’m finally my own friend.


Playing the Philosopher


I’m having a typically special cup of coffee this early morning. Bad news is on the news; crime, tragedy, war, and wannabe presidents. Maybe I’ve become more sensitive, or numb.

Men and women come and go. I get to play at being a philosopher. I yam what I yam.

People want to be right. Some of us want to be happy. “Experts say beauty can influence a person’s paycheck.”


Refining Myself

Self-improvement is a continual process, and it’s a process of purification and refinement. The insight I have this morning is that everything I think in regards to my environment is a projection of unconscious parts of my psyche, and these projections are like raw material for me to refine myself. Things that I find irritating about other people, or conditions that I don’t like, can be thought of as psychic energy that can be harnessed toward self-improvement.

Everything is the self, for all intents and purposes. I’m experiencing things as myself, after all. I can only imagine what it’s like to experience things from another point of view, but ultimately this is my point of view. Unconscious material is continually being refined into consciousness. There are levels and degrees of unconsciousness and consciousness; it’s a spectrum. You could say that the more negative our thoughts and emotions, the more unconscious we are, but at the same time, the more fuel we have to become conscious.

How do these concepts play out in day to day life? This is my understanding: everything we perceive activates what we call “thoughts”, and every thought has a value attached to it, which we call “emotions.” To the degree that we react to these thoughts and emotions, we are unconscious. To the degree that we are able to choose among these thoughts and emotions, we are conscious. Consciousness, then, is the ability to know the difference between who you are and your projections.


Leading Up to This

As I was driving to the store to buy some cleaning supplies for tomorrow’s Extreme Make-Over: Dad’s Shop Edition, I said (to myself) that I want to receive inspiration for my next post, so I suppose this is it. I actually do want to help my dad clean up his shop, so all of the ups and downs that have led to this point has been worth it, and I think that’s generally a good philosophy to have.

One of the worst things to do is beat up on yourself about the past. I think about the past quite a bit. This blog is a chronicle of my life experiences, after all, but it’s also a projection of my desires and intentions for the future. One of the main reasons I bring up my past relationship is that it was really great, and I remember it fondly. Even breaking up is part of the process, and I’m beyond the angry words that were spoken. When you no longer have something you consider great, there’s a sense of loss, but I know that if I once had something great, I can have something just as great or even greater.

I did things in the right way, which is to say, I did things sincerely and truthfully. I loved sincerely, I trusted completely, I gave everything I had to give, and I still have a lot more to offer. Although there are things I’d do differently now, the core of who I am remains constant.