Getting to the Heart of the Matter

clouds

A rather stunning revelation I’ve had is that I don’t treat myself fairly…at all. Well, I’ve suspected it for a while, but these days I’m really onto it. Some of the most revealing insights come to us as we’re waking up.

Crossing the Threshold

I believe in the Hero’s Journey, and right now it feels like I’m crossing the threshold. Things have happened in such a way that I can never go back to who I thought I was. Being free is completely exciting and terrifying in turns.

Being Fearless

Why can I be so passionate about other people, so eager to please, but feel so cold and negligent towards myself? I’m not letting myself off the hook until I can truly answer the question. Layers of illusions peel away when we fearlessly get to the heart of the matter.

Sincerely,

G.B.M.

Feeling Better (Being Who You Are)

The most important question for me right now is “what feels better?”

If someone were to ask me “why didn’t you do this (or that?)”

My answer would be “because I felt like doing this (other thing).”

My purpose in life isn’t to make someone’s life harder,

But it’s also not to make someone’s life easier.

My purpose is to be who I am.

~ GBM

Following Your Inner Light

Would you rather know who you truly are, or not? Life becomes much simpler when you can answer this question, and mean it. There’s great power in simplicity; it’s clear and purposeful.

Self-improvement is about change; specifically, changing for the better, but according to whose standards? Who can you really trust to tell you how to live your life?

Beneath the confusion is the heart of the matter, and it shines like a beacon in the darkness.

Follow your inner light.

~ GBM

Bumper Bowling through Life

When does confidence become recklessness? When does it become arrogance? No one can tell you the answer, because you have to experience it for yourself. Having no confidence makes you timid, but over-confidence can lead to a downfall. My parents represent both ends of the spectrum for me, so I have personality traits of both anxiety and audacity. I do my best to walk the middle way.

The middle way is your way, and you figure it out like bumper bowling. Go too far to the left, it knocks you back to the middle; go too far to the right, it knocks you back to the middle. Eventually you learn to navigate without getting knocked back and forth so much.

Here’s an excerpt from the first post of my blog, written eight years ago.

I’m going to try and have a writing ritual everyday, which means this journal will be an eclectic mix of topics…I began keeping journals a few years ago, and write in them everyday…I’ve focused on having some kind of narrative voice/style/what-have-you.

I have a lot of topics I want to write about; art, life…well, what more is there but art and life? I don’t profess to know anything special about these topics. Quite the opposite, really. The hope is that by writing about it I can clarify my thoughts, and use this electronic medium (wow, I sound like an old man) to communicate with others. And that’s the point of my artistic endeavors anyway; to communicate ideas.

All kinds of extraordinary things have happened from then till now, but the reason I’m pointing this out (to myself, mostly) is to show what it means to have a far-reaching vision. Some of those years went by in a blur, some felt excruciatingly slow, but who I am has always been in one place experiencing each moment.

~ GBM

Questioning Beliefs

Here’s a technique I learned from Bashar that helps you figure out what beliefs (or definitions) you have that are generating negative emotions. Negative emotions are meant to be indicators of beliefs that are self-limiting, not something to be wallowed in.

For example, if you feel fear, stop and ask yourself:

What would I have to believe is true about myself in this situation in order to feel the way I do?

and/or

If I did choose to move forward and be the self I prefer to be, what am I terrified will happen?

Usually it has to do with negative beliefs about self-doubt, self-invalidation, not being worthy, not being good enough, etc.

It’s been helpful for me to look at the underlying beliefs and definitions I have that are out of alignment with my True Self. Once I can consciously see them, they don’t make sense and seem illogical, and I’m able to withdraw my attention from them.

~ GBM

A Time of Awakening

whiteflower

I’ve offered many good words on GBM over the years, but now I’m learning the difference between knowing what to say, and knowing how to be. I asked for answers, and received them. I’ve communicated those answers on this blog.

The words I’ve written still resonate with my inner guidance. The difference is that I’m now embodying what I write about. I’m going from knowledge to knowing.

I’ve talked about freedom – having a deep desire be free, wondering what freedom is, and how to have it – and the result is that, whether I like it or not, I know freedom, and it isn’t what I’ve been taught while growing up. It isn’t a person, place, or thing.

To me, freedom is knowing myself to the deepest, most central, emotional, energetic, vibrational, and spiritual core; to be able to feel and know who I am without flinching. Without knowing who I am, I’m at the mercy of everyone and everything.

I’ve noticed that we have a tendency to run away from knowing who we really are, although that’s what we’re looking for. We look to others to figure out how we’re supposed to be, when our spirit is always showing us the way. That’s a disempowering and insecure way to live.

I’ve also noticed that things are shifting. With the internet, people are able to unplug themselves from force-fed beliefs and information. They’re able to seek and speak their own truth.

In society, the facade is breaking down. So called adults, elders, and leaders aren’t able to fake their way through life anymore. People are seeking answers to deep questions. They want masters and teachers that know what they’re talking about, and the answers are coming from the collective unconscious, the non-physical, the spiritual, the Universe.

I know there are those who have been awakened in some way to who they really are from reading the words I’ve written, and that’s because who we really are is continually guiding us to the answers we’re seeking. I’ve chronicled my own awakening; waking up from the confusion, and waking up to the clarity.

The greatest value to be had from anything outside of our self, is whether it rings true with what is inside of our self.

~ GBM

The Big Question

trees-looking-up

I’m not sure what the most important question in life is, but this one must be in the top three, and for me it’s the most important:

Who am I?

I can guarantee that if you sincerely ask this question – meaning you really want to know the answer – your life will be changed forever. I see it as the master key that unlocks the door to everything.

A few years ago, I went for a walk and – surrounded by nature – looked all around me and asked, “Who am I?”

On the one hand, I was annoyed that I wasn’t more certain about who I was at the time, and on the other, I was genuinely curious to see what would happen.

The leaves rustled, the branches creaked and scraped against each other, and there was a brisk autumnal breeze. I felt chills run through my body, and my hairs stood on end. I’m not sure exactly what happened, but I knew that something did happen. God didn’t start talking to me from the clouds, yet I got a sense of my place in all of creation. I didn’t feel bigger or smaller than anything. I felt like I was just right.

Of course, my physical environment and life situation was the way it was. I went on the walk in the first place as a way of dealing with some difficult mood swings I was having, and that didn’t disappear overnight, but I can tell you that my life has changed in a big way.

When you ask “Who am I”, something stirs within you. The universe hears your question, and like the inevitable birth of a star, there will come a day when fusion will occur between who you thought you were, and who you really are.

No one can tell you who you really are, because it’s not an intellectual exercise. It’s like having sex for the first time. You can talk about it all you want, but until you do it, you don’t really know what it’s like.

~ GBM