Choosing to no longer seek the approval of (and trying to please) others may be the most challenging thing we ever face. Sometimes anger is our only way out, but when the anger subsides, we can feel the familiar pull of old habits. However (and whenever) it happens, turning the corner is the difference between night and day.
The Great Equalizer
Happiness is the great equalizer. We can never really tell if anyone else is truly happy. We can never truly make anyone else happy unless they really want to be happy.
I have to admit that as focused and (authentically) happy as I am now, through everything I’ve learned and overcome, there’s still pain and resistance to being happy, which requires all of my wisdom (as well as others) in order to find peace. It takes a deep and abiding appreciation of the journey and the process of life. We weren’t born to please others; we were born to be true to ourselves, and the sooner we realize that, the better we’ll feel.
I dreamt about living and working with my dad years before it happened. If I’m honest, it was something I resisted; as much as I’ve ever resisted anything. This can be said of many things in my life.
Sometimes all I’ve got is respect, however begrudging, for whatever inner resistance there is within me. Maybe it serves a purpose; perhaps even a good one. I told my dad earlier that my truest joy comes from alignment with my True Self, and although I didn’t say it in those exact words, it’s what I meant.
Appreciation leads to contentment. The state of equanimity and contentment is a personal choice. Whatever we push against pushes back, so I choose the middle path.
It feels good to be in the shop’s garage and writing again. Although the frequency of my posts have recently dropped, I don’t feel stressed out about it. Between respecting resistance and following the path of least resistance, my life feels more natural.
I’ve been working, and also focused on psychological concepts like the ego/Self. It seems like a bridge between the spiritual and material world. I have the sense that I inhabit both.
The blog is called Getting Better, Man; that’s happening every day. But I’m also discovering a greater self. One that’s more than I’d ever realized.
I woke up from an emotional and visceral dream, and realized it was the second day of a new year. I appreciate and perform my usual waking up rituals, and feel thankful for what I get to experience. I’m making peace with aspects of my life which seemed mountainous.
Yesterday, I focused on respecting resistance. Resistance is resistance, and deserves respect. Respect is respect, and something I choose to cultivate and have.
Knowledge and wisdom are priceless. To grow in knowledge and wisdom is worth its weight in experience. Soon, I’ll go back to sleep.
I’m kicking the people-pleasing habit, and since it’s a habit, I need to keep reminding myself that my new habit is following my bliss/inner guidance/the path of least resistance. People-pleasing is actually following the path of most resistance, but people-pleasers don’t realize that until life starts being a real pain in the ass. We train people to treat us the way we believe we should be treated, and people-pleasing says that what we want is less important than what someone else wants, which isn’t true.
As a former people-pleaser, I’m aware of when I feel the need to justify why I’m doing what I’m doing, when the truth is that I don’t need to justify myself to anyone. I’m doing what I’m doing – the way I’m doing it – because that’s what I want to do. Sure, I could try to explain myself to someone, but why?
Kicking the people-pleasing habit is about wanting to live a sincere life. Don’t try to please people, and let them decide how they feel about you. It might be challenging for a while, and people might throw a hissy fit, but so what. Life will become much simpler and you’ll feel a lot better, especially about yourself.
If anxiety is essentially being scared of life, I’m glad that I’m tired of being scared. It doesn’t matter what’s scaring me, I’m just tired of it. I just think “so what” and “who cares.” I could probably blame it on my mom, but so what, and who cares. I’m tired of blaming, too.
It’s all just resistance anyway; resistance to being a powerful, self-empowered human being. The more we play into our fears, the more it seems real. Who wants to live in fear? Who wants to live like a little mouse? Not I!
I’m not pushing against my mom and her husband, but I’m also not going to try to please them, either. Yesterday, I definitely felt angry and pushed against them, and I’m glad that I did, but I don’t need to keep pushing. I’ve been nice and respectful to them, not because I felt like I owed them anything, but because I wanted to be. I sincerely accept their assistance, but I don’t believe I owe them for their help. I think the best that anyone can do when offered help, is to sincerely receive it, which I have. I think my mom feels the same way, but it seems like her husband doesn’t, but who knows, who cares, and so what. That’s for them to figure out. I’m tired of caring about what others are doing.
Last night, I released a lot of resistance in the form of relief and tears, but today I encountered a big wall of resistance. All I could really do was sleep it off.
I feel better now; calmer, clearer, and more centered. There’s confusion in the air, but I’m able to breathe. There’s also an urge to run away; to take action. However, I’m asking for inner guidance instead.
I’m not sure why things are the way they are, and I’m not sure what my next steps will be. I know that all these years of self-improvement have prepared me well, and I know that I have inner guidance.