Scratching the Surface

As I went about my Sunday routines, I had the realization that I’ve barely scratched the surface of who I truly am. This is both exciting and frustrating. There’s so much that I want to create and express.

Creating things willy-nilly isn’t all that satisfying, either. Part of the fun is in connecting with others. Of course, there’s also the issue of making a living.

Rather than fighting the form and structure, I’m learning from it. Boundaries have their uses, after all. Focus is the key.



Waking Up and Breathing


It’s a rainy night, and I slept for a while, but after waking up I decided to get out of bed and do my usual routines until I get sleepy again. I sleep in the same bed as my dad these days, which I didn’t think I’d be able to do, but it’s actually quite meaningful. Life and work at the shop continues, and continues to fly by.

I’m learning more about working on cars, running the shop, and life. I’m learning about freedom, independence, and self-empowerment. I’m learning that wisdom comes from the sum of knowledge and experience.

So much of life is about beginnings and endings, but there’s an in-between space where eternity exists. It’s that holding your breath and finally breathing out sensation that feels like a relief.


Climbing Ladders and Being Centered


Every day is an adventure at the shop, and I get to see interesting things, like cats who can climb ladders. I also get to interact with people, and the important thing is that any worrisome thoughts I might have about these interactions are easier to let go of these days. It’s about being centered.

Part of being centered is having empowering and life-affirming routines, which are daily rituals. I clean and organize the shop every day, and care for the shop cats. I also make sure to focus my mind on things that are simple, rather than complicated (I can tell by how it feels).

My current way of life is more immediate, and less in my head, although I continue to be introspective. I’ve realized that I don’t have to give up who I am in order to be in the world. I can be who I am, and allow others to be who they are.


Appreciating (A Year Later)


If and when I wake up early, I light incense and make a cup of coffee, and usually blog. I have a routine, and eventually get sleepy again. Yesterday, I did a lot of good work in the shop.

It’s Christmas Eve, and just a year ago I was sitting alone, anxious about how I was going to pay the rent. A year later, many things have, and continue, to change. I’m better now than I was before.

These are the constants in my life: who I am, and my love for the things that I love. I take comfort, refuge, and strength in my True Self. I appreciate myself, my life, and the world I live in.


Grist for the Mill

I enjoy writing these early morning missives. I sometimes paint afterwards, then I usually get some more sleep. My mom gets up early for work, and since I’m currently sleeping in the living room, I find it easier to just go ahead and wake up, too. My stepdad also gets up, and he goes back to bed after she leaves. That’s their routine, which is now part of my routine.

On Friday, we begin the move into a two bedroom apartment in the same complex. Then I’ll have my own room, and who knows what my routine will be. I enjoy making coffee for the three of us. I enjoy writing at this time of day. There’s a different energy during the early morning hours.

Sometimes my mom’s complaints are a bit much, but overall I find it amusing. I’m seeing the different ways people approach life, and it’s becoming interesting rather than aggravating (I don’t feel so weird anymore). All of this is grist for the mill for a writer.


Saturday Morning Conundrums

I just woke up, and I want to experiment with writing first thing, besides making a quick cup of instant coffee that is.

As I walked to the kitchen to re-enact my daily routine, the cat darting to her food bowl, while I take a detour to open the blinds and let in some light, I was struck with the thought that it’s Saturday, and as a kid I used to love Saturdays, because there was no school, and I got to sleep in, and then got to watch cartoons. That made me think of how I’d like to feel as exuberant as I did back then, and have something as simple as watching cartoons to look forward to.

In fact, I do have things to look forward to.

As I heated up the water for coffee, and gave the kitty some food, I wanted to write about the notion of looking forward to something, because just the other day I wrote about past and future being something of an illusion. This seeming contradiction keeps coming up in the search for ultimate truth, but it doesn’t have to throw us off. Truth is all-encompassing. Everything we know, and everything we don’t know is included with truth (maybe I should write it as Truth-with-a-capital-T).

One thing that’s important to realize is that we’re communicating with each other as human beings. That seems like common sense, but common sense can be surprisingly uncommon. We interpret the world as humans, define ourselves as a person, and live together as people. These are all important things from the standpoint of humans beings, and as such we need to deal with the necessities of life, as far as that’s concerned.

I don’t want to take away the importance of being human, but I do want to point out the self-importance that seems to come with the territory.

* * *

Well there you have it, something I had in mind as I woke up this fine Saturday morning.

Maybe I’ll go watch some cartoons.


One of the confounding things about publishing first drafts is that inevitable edits need to be made, so there will be differences in the articles you find on GBM proper versus the ones sent through email.

A Light Heart in a Grey Room

I woke up extra early today.

Waking up too early used to disturb me, but I’ve learned to accept it. The world seems different before sunrise. Most everyone is asleep when it’s still dark. Of course, not everyone’s asleep in the early hours; donut-makers, overnight deliverers, and garbage dumpster picker uppers are all out there making the world go round.

When I wake up really early, I know the creative juices are flowing. The trick to dealing with creativity is figuring out what to do with it. Sometimes there can be too much of a good thing, like too much creativity, but that’s a luxury as far as problems go.

It’s good to have a routine when you find yourself alone in the grey hours. Feed the cat. Make a cup of coffee. Check your horoscope. Write 300 words. Let your girlfriend get her beauty sleep.

My goal for today is to do my best to have energy and a positive outlook on things. I rather enjoy being a reclusive hermit philosopher, but today I’ll work on getting some time in the sun. Like the trees outside my window, I feel like I’m turning a new leaf. Not to be lewd, but I find my tenuous personal growth quite exciting.

A lighthearted approach to life is sometimes a necessity. The search for truth doesn’t have to be a dour and lonely journey. There’s a place for curiosity, openness, and playfulness in life. I’m not sure when I got so serious (probably when things got serious ) but I don’t want to take myself too seriously. The universe is laughing, after all.

I’ve always dreamed of being a writer, and by golly here I am living my dream, all thanks to waking up before dawn. With a strong body, clear mind, light heart, and free spirit, it’s time to go forward and do great things!

Thanks for reading. Let’s make today a better day.