Focusing on (Self) Love


Sometimes I wonder why it’s so quick and easy for me to focus love onto others, but focusing that same love on myself feels foreign. It’s one of those unfamiliar things that I’m devoted to becoming familiar with. As I look upon myself with the same admiration, esteem, friendliness, and respect that I afford others, I feel at peace.



Choosing the Story


I was looking for the love of my mother, father, women, men, employers, and even strangers, but finally saw that the love I was seeking was my own. In my darkest hour, all I could say was “God loves me” over and over, and that turned out to be the truth. Self-hatred was such a burden; poisonous, dark and destructive.

So where am I now?

Well, the self-hatred is still there, sometimes, but I don’t think it’s real; no more real than self-love. I see that I can choose either one, and not blame; not give up my power. I can reclaim and remember my birthright.

I know who I truly am.

What came before is an interesting story, but it’s all just stories in the end.



Appreciating and Self-love

There was a time when the thought of loving myself seemed like a myth, but now that I know that I love myself, it feels perfectly natural. From this centered place of self-love, I can clearly see the self-hatred, which didn’t come from me. We’re not born hating ourselves; it’s something we’re taught. Maybe love and hate are strong words, but appreciation and devaluing work just the same. So does self-empowerment versus disempowerment.

I see no reason not to appreciate everything. Even when there are things I don’t like, I still appreciate knowing that about myself. I can do everything from a place of appreciation. I want to appreciate the things that I like. Appreciating is respecting it. I think the opposite of appreciation is fear. Why fear the things we love?

There are levels and degrees of appreciation, and the more we do it, the more life reveals itself to us. Even as I write this, I became frustrated with my cat, but I can appreciate that, too.


Love (Is What We Want)


I’m realizing that in order for me to have what I want, I need to love it. That seems obvious, but sometimes we can let things get in the way of being loving.

I think there’s a misconception that in order to get what we want, or get to where we want to be, we must go through a certain amount of what we don’t want. This seems like a pervasive belief that I’ve found to be false. I actually don’t believe that we must go through unwanted things in order to have what we want, unless we think we have to.

We don’t have to wage war in order to have peace, and we don’t have to suffer in order to grow. A person who lives a simple and happy life is just as great and noble as someone who is ambitious.

The only things that truly matter in human life is love and wisdom, because without these things life has no meaning. We can be in love with wisdom, and that in itself will take us to where we need to be.

It’s funny because I’m realizing how much I’ve struggled against the very things I’ve loved. I’ve analyzed, belittled, critiqued, deconstructed, evaluated, fault-founded, gnashed-teeth, hated, introspected, judged, and killed (at least tried to) that which I hold dear, like myself, for instance.

But you know, the human spirit can’t be extinguished no matter what we may do in our misguided ways. Self-expression isn’t ours to control; it just is. Loving what you want begins with loving yourself, because what we truly want is our Self.

There’s real power to be had and experienced when we align with our True Self. When we place our loyalty in unconditional love, the world, the universe, and all of life begins to speak to us in every moment.


image credits: Pixabay

Loving Yourself Unconditionally


Throughout my journey of self-improvement and self-discovery, I’ve learned many enlightening and inspiring things, and the most vital thing I’ve learned — the wisest of all teachings — is the principle of loving yourself unconditionally.

Sometimes called unconditional positive regard for yourself, no matter which way you look at it, this principle cannot be circumvented or ignored. Within the principle of loving yourself unconditionally is the key to all great things. This isn’t an overstatement, and in fact, cannot be stated strongly enough.

I’m realizing that not loving yourself unconditionally is at the heart of all human problems, and since we’re humans, that’s everything. Again, there’s no way to escape or overlook this principle. There’s no amount of achievements, money, power, or success that won’t crumble if, at the heart of it, there’s not unconditional love for yourself. Lack of unconditional self-love is the void that people speak of; the void which we try to unsuccessfully fill with everything except unconditional love. Another truth is that unconditional love is the same as loving yourself unconditionally.

So how do we go about loving ourselves unconditionally? There are many ways that people have approached this question. At the heart of all wisdom teachings is the principle of unconditional love. Love isn’t something we choose to do, and loving yourself unconditionally isn’t something you choose to do. It’s your natural state of being. Anything that goes against or resists loving yourself unconditionally will feel bad. It doesn’t matter what we call it, or how we rationalize it, but conditional love will, sooner or later, feel bad, because it goes against the ultimate truth of unconditional love.

Loving yourself unconditionally is the meaning of being centered, or aligning with your True Self. It is something to be contemplated, meditated upon, mindful of, and practiced every moment of every day.


image credits: Sedone Thongvilay

My Week of Enjoyment

I practiced the Word of the Week, enjoyment, and well, I enjoyed it. I say this even as I feel like I’m coming down with a cold ( passed onto me by a certain someone). I spent Christmas avoiding people, which doesn’t make me feel good, but it doesn’t make me feel all that bad, either. To be honest, I enjoyed it. I enjoy writing about it, too.

I read one of my posts from November 2008, about my ego, which I called the dragon at the time, and was struck by the power and truth in what I wrote. It seemed like someone else wrote it, and maybe that’s the higher self I was talking about. It’s ironic that I’m impressed by a post I wrote about my own ego.

What did I learn about enjoyment this week? I learned that my intuition, listening to myself, my inner wisdom, had a lot to do with “true” enjoyment. By true, I mean doing the things my intuition told me I wanted or needed to do, not what I thought I had to do. In fact, “doing” wasn’t really a big deal to have enjoyment. I found the experience of enjoyment to be as basic as just sitting here and breathing, listening to the chatter of my mind, feeling what my body felt.

I had high levels of anxiety this week, and the crazy thing is that I was able to enjoy that, too. My mind protests this, of course. It doesn’t believe, or want to believe, that I could enjoy something like anxiety. Maybe a lot of the anxiety comes from my mind, and doesn’t want to die. I made progress on the Spy Lords comic, and I’m proud of that. It’s small, daily progress, but I feel like I’m learning how to nurture my artist-child self, which is what I needed when I was little. The thought of doing that fills me with such love and compassion that no matter what happens, I’m committed to taking care of my inner child, and that takes courage.

Believing In Yourself

I want to talk about what I mean by “believing in yourself”. I say this a lot, to myself and others. To me, it means being your own best friend, being there for yourself, not turning on yourself, not belittling yourself, not hating yourself. It can mean loving yourself, but if you’re not up to that point, it means accepting that you are who you are, warts and all. It means having faith in yourself, which implies that believing in yourself transcends any reason or rationality. There are no “reasons” to believe in yourself. You’re alive, so believe in yourself. That’s good enough.

Every cell and molecule in your body knows what it wants, yes, even the “bad” ones. Everything is either moving towards love and creativity, or fear and destruction. This is necessary in our world. We can know that this is happening. We can be aware of different perspectives. We can even be aware that there are things we don’t know, things that are missing from our perceptions.

Back to believing in yourself. That’s my message for you today. Think of it as a safety net. The integrity of your safety net will determine how often you move forward towards creativity, or stay back because of fear. Do a gut check. How much do you believe in yourself? 100%? 50%? Maybe only 20%? Don’t worry if you find that your self-belief is low. Mine was terribly low for most of my life, but I can say with all honesty that today my self-belief is 100%. In fact, I’ll even say 110%, because I don’t need rationality to know I believe in myself. It’s a matter of faith.

I’ll talk about this some more, because I enjoy writing in small chunks. Maybe it’s ADD.

Believing in yourself is the seed from where motivation grows. You’ll be amazed at how you grow, and what you can accomplish, once you plant this seed.