I asked the I Ching:
“What can I do to have courage and strength?”
The answer was so powerful that I had to write it down in my journal so I could internalize it, and I also wanted to type it up on my blog to share it with you, because it’s just good advice in general.
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It is time to eliminate bad habits and behaviors and free yourself from relationships and situations that drag you down. Deliverance requires inner resolution and perseverance. You alone can save yourself. No one else can do it for you. But if you stay the course, people who undermine your self-worth or have an unhealthy influence in your life will see that you cannot be taken advantage of and they will withdraw of their own accord.
“Delivering yourself” means treating yourself with respect and developing a positive attitude toward who you are and what you do. Deliverance requires a narrative of redemption. It means believing in a vision of yourself and in a story of your life in which things can get better. If you hold fast to this vision and make this story your story, your life will indeed improve.
By believing in yourself and becoming committed to your deliverance, you will no longer attract harmful people, and you will no longer get yourself entangled in unhealthy behaviors and difficult circumstances that you could have avoided.
Jack M. Balkin, The Laws of Change
I need to stay focused on this message, because I need courage and strength in order to stay on the right path. After a lifetime of approval seeking and people pleasing, I finally know what it’s like to be free, but there are still backsliding and self-sabotaging habits that I need to be aware of. Only I can save myself.
Warning: some explicit language, so don’t listen if you’re offended by that.
Part journal, part therapy, all self-improvement. I talk (passionately) about being true to yourself, and other things.
Thanks for listening! Maybe you’ll find it helpful, insightful, or interesting in some way.
The treasure I seek is self-realization, but the great fear I have is letting go of the belief that I have to do something, that I have to prove my worth, or be somebody. It’s a paradox. The more I try to be who I am, the more I can’t be who I am.
What if we accepted that everything is unfolding perfectly? That it has always unfolded perfectly, and will always unfold perfectly. There’s a part of me that’s terrified to accept that–recoils at the thought–and yet it’s a deep understanding and key to the universe.
Where does meaningfulness come from? I don’t know, but I know it’s something we can feel. Our own unique path will always feel meaningful to us.
We are all destined to realize our true self-worth, one way or the other. It’s not so much a calling as an inexorable pull. To the extent that we resist the pull of our true self, we are unhappy.
Letting go can be difficult because it can feel like a sacrifice. Sometimes we think we’re sacrificing, but we’re not. A true sacrifice usually has to do with the death of a dearly held belief, and most of us hate to be wrong.
It’s challenging to be unflinchingly honest with ourselves. There are so many ways we can be diverted from really getting to the heart of the matter. I continue to write, because this is my bastion of peace, and oasis of truth.
Perhaps it’s not a bad thing to form a callous over the heart; not to have a hardened heart, but one that can sustain us. A healthy and passionate heart is one that pulses with life, but not one that’s bleeding all over the place. A strong heart maintains integrity.
There’s an invisible wall between the mundane and the magical. The wall is a well placed illusion, and there’s a reason it’s a mystery (because you’re meant to find it for yourself).
The great treasure of life is true self-worth, and once it’s found, all lies dissolve.
I have found that in being true to myself, compromise is compromising, and it is a weakness. I know when I’ve compromised myself, and that is always the greatest source of regret. It’s when you let yourself down that hurts the most.
I’ve strengthened my inner strength by not letting myself down, being my own best friend, and supporting myself, no matter how difficult it was at first.
My self-worth used to come from other people and external things, and it felt nearly impossible to unplug from that, but it is possible, and for me, the only way to live happily.
Approval-seeking and people-pleasing is an emotional addiction, and the only way out (that I’ve found) is to become hooked on your own soul.
Today, I’m as free as the day I was born. I feel innocent and pure. Not because I’m doing anything, but because I’ve chosen to be uncompromisingly true to myself.
Blogging is a daily source of joy for me, and I consider the readers of my blog to be kindred spirits. I’ve experienced all sorts of things over the years, and blogging has been the one constant. Whatever happens, I’m happy to be doing this.
It’s been, and is, a journey of self-discovery; of my True Self, self-worth, self-respect, personal dignity, and personal integrity. Every day, I realize that it’s not (just) about external conditions, and yet, it’s also about that. For me, it’s mostly about my attitudes and beliefs.
I tell myself that things are always working out for me, and that everything benefits me in some way. I think the best thing I can do for others is to be the best I can be, which keeps evolving. The magical and the mundane are one and the same.