I’d be doing myself a great disservice – and by extension, my audience – if I were false. Being truthful and sincere has long been a theme here, and that will continue. I have an internal compass that I can’t lie to.
In a world full of sugar-coating, I’m a fire that burns away everything that’s false. What’s left is real. It’s something you have to experience for yourself.
I’m not trying to be right, nor do I want to be. All of this has been written in some way by a future version of me, and when I re-read it months or years from now, it rings true. That’s all I can ask of myself.
I’ve just had a realization about most of the relationships I’ve experienced so far, and why I’ve often struggled with them. I’m deeply honest and sincere, and while that may seem like a virtue, in many relationships (that I’ve experienced) that’s actually something people are afraid of. That doesn’t mean it’s wrong for me to be sincere, but that I’m just not around like-minded (or ‘like-hearted’) people.
For example, I understand that people are going to be self-interested; I believe in that, actually. However, let’s say someone in a (romantic) relationship with me says they would be happier by ending the relationship–I genuinely support that–but what I don’t support is not being honest and up-front about it, and basically making me the bad guy in order to have an excuse to break up. Or maybe someone is talking about improving their life in some way; I wholeheartedly care and want them to do it, and I want to support them in whatever way I’m able to.
What I don’t like (or understand) is when I’m talking about improving my life–or being honest and sincere with someone–and I’m met with disinterest, falseness, or even passive-aggressiveness. Because I very much want to get along with people, I used to contort myself in all sorts of ways that ultimately left me feeling depressed. Now, instead of beating up and betraying myself, I choose to stand by my values and attract people who value the same things as I do.
My definition of humility is being neither too high nor too low in your estimation of yourself. In fact, the need to compare yourself to others is irrelevant when you’re truly humble. Humility requires self-honesty and sincerity.
Feeling like you’re better than others (and needing to put others down) is arrogance, which is the opposite of humility. Likewise, playing the martyr or victim is also a kind of arrogance, and not humble. It’s only through vigorous self-honesty that the true heart of humility can shine forth.
Being truly humble means being invisible, like the way nature is great without caring if anyone notices. It means living life for the greater good, which includes yourself and everyone else. It means withdrawing blame and taking on full responsibility for your choices.
So I’ve been approved for my own apartment, but right now I’m staying with my mom until I move in/out. I feel a real sense of accomplishment, of rightness, of alignment. All of this while external things seemingly fall away.
Things that used to challenge me I’m now taking in stride. And yet, new challenges and adventures await. Meaning and purpose suffuses every moment.
What I mean by sincerity is that whatever you’re doing, and whoever you are, at least be honest with yourself, and do it from the heart. Right now, and usually, I have a swirling mix of thoughts and emotions, but what I write (here) has been honed over countless hours. I believe in creating something beautiful, choosing to love rather than hate, and enjoying life.
After my previous post, WordPress informed me that it was the 1000th one, so I want to thank all of the people who’ve read, liked, commented, and followed my blog. It’s one of the joys of my life. Funny to think that I wanted to quit several times.
I’ve grown up with this blog, and I’m sure my readers have, too, over the years. I wouldn’t say that it’s wildly popular like some other blogs, but that’s not the most important thing for me, and I’ve always been confused by how popularity works, anyway. What it is, is sincere.
For those of you who are on the self-improvement path, which is essentially a spiritual path, I believe it’s worth it. It’s fulfilling, meaningful, and truthful, if that’s what you want. I’m not trying to be a teacher, but I suppose I’ve taught some valuable things here, especially for myself.
They say that the only constant thing in life is change, or something to that effect. Life takes on a familiar groove, then you step back and realize how things have totally changed. It’s better not to get too attached.
I’m sleeping next to a car that I spent the day painting. I take showers in the garage; it’s actually kind of fun. That’s how my life’s changed, and continues to.
There’s fulfillment in giving of yourself, but I’m not here to tell anyone what, when, or how much to give of anything. Sincerity is the key, but that’s between you and yourself. I woke up and was able to take care of a kitten, but I’m also glad to have written.
It’s a new week, and it’s been a week since I last wrote. As you can imagine, many things have happened. Where do I start?
I’m getting the hang of working on cars. I’m really into playing guitar. I can say that I’m happy (not perfect, but perfectly happy).
Keep it simple like sincerity. The leaves and birds are coming back. I have songs and stories on my mind.