You can find me on Instagram @sedone
You can find me on Instagram @sedone
I asked the I Ching:
“What can I do to have courage and strength?”
The answer was so powerful that I had to write it down in my journal so I could internalize it, and I also wanted to type it up on my blog to share it with you, because it’s just good advice in general.
It is time to eliminate bad habits and behaviors and free yourself from relationships and situations that drag you down. Deliverance requires inner resolution and perseverance. You alone can save yourself. No one else can do it for you. But if you stay the course, people who undermine your self-worth or have an unhealthy influence in your life will see that you cannot be taken advantage of and they will withdraw of their own accord.
“Delivering yourself” means treating yourself with respect and developing a positive attitude toward who you are and what you do. Deliverance requires a narrative of redemption. It means believing in a vision of yourself and in a story of your life in which things can get better. If you hold fast to this vision and make this story your story, your life will indeed improve.
By believing in yourself and becoming committed to your deliverance, you will no longer attract harmful people, and you will no longer get yourself entangled in unhealthy behaviors and difficult circumstances that you could have avoided.
Jack M. Balkin, The Laws of Change
I need to stay focused on this message, because I need courage and strength in order to stay on the right path. After a lifetime of approval seeking and people pleasing, I finally know what it’s like to be free, but there are still backsliding and self-sabotaging habits that I need to be aware of. Only I can save myself.
I’ve got my trusty mariner’s compass amulet (which is actually a defunct refrigerator magnet) by my side. I’m still “recovering”, you could say, from yesterday’s publication of my audio journal. It happened rather spontaneously, and shifted me emotionally. I couldn’t say those things and share it with the world if I wasn’t ready to change.
It’s important for me to think about personal boundaries, and enforce them. I have to do that for myself. There’s a feeling of guilt when I do, but that’s a weakness that I want to strengthen. Not all ego is bad, but a weak ego is, in fact, a weakness, and weaknesses get exploited.
My weakness is in having and preserving personal boundaries. I respect other people’s boundaries and my own. I think it can be a win-win, but from now on I won’t be on the losing end of having boundaries.
These boundaries are mostly internal, but they’re also physical, too. I think physically you can be flexible, because we all share this world, but use common sense.
It’s good to earn and have money so you don’t owe people financially, or feel like you have to weaken your physical boundaries because of money. With money, you can take up space in the world. Again, use common sense, but don’t be intimidated, either.
There are also emotional boundaries. You can’t let your good feelings be based upon external conditions, or you’ll be a slave to those conditions. You can cultivate and appreciate external things, but never let your happiness be based upon them.
I’m actually OK with not needing to have a lot of possessions, although I’m moving towards manifesting more physical things and situations that I enjoy. However, I can get attached to relationships, or to people’s good opinions, and much of my self-improvement is about unhooking from external validation.
Mental boundaries are your principles, beliefs, and values. Deep down, you know what you’re about, and you know how to think for yourself, so you need to do that.
Think for yourself! Don’t let others tell you what to think about anything. Observe and find out for yourself. Figure yourself out. Define who you are.
Some people will try to control you with words, comments, opinions, and facts. You need to have your own repertoire of words, comments, opinions, and facts.
Nobody knows it all, and if someone acts like they do, don’t believe them. Learn from those who have ideas that resonate with your whole self.
Speaking of self (which is what I consider the True Self), your spiritual boundaries are sacred and impervious to harm.
Don’t ever let anything get in the way of you and your True Self. Your True Self is the God within you, a part of the Source of all that is.
Without this connection, there will always be someone who thinks they’re more powerful than you, or that you owe them something, but if you know that you have a direct connection to your Source, you are invincible.
I have found that in being true to myself, compromise is compromising, and it is a weakness. I know when I’ve compromised myself, and that is always the greatest source of regret. It’s when you let yourself down that hurts the most.
I’ve strengthened my inner strength by not letting myself down, being my own best friend, and supporting myself, no matter how difficult it was at first.
My self-worth used to come from other people and external things, and it felt nearly impossible to unplug from that, but it is possible, and for me, the only way to live happily.
Approval-seeking and people-pleasing is an emotional addiction, and the only way out (that I’ve found) is to become hooked on your own soul.
Today, I’m as free as the day I was born. I feel innocent and pure. Not because I’m doing anything, but because I’ve chosen to be uncompromisingly true to myself.
Sometimes, I’m realizing, the important thing isn’t what I write about, but rather it’s that I’m writing, I’ve been writing, and I’ll continue to write. One of the kitties is lying on my arm as I write this. We don’t pick our calling; it picks us.
Life is made up of meaningful work. That’s where I find strength. I also find strength in my True Self.
There’s a part of me that seems incredibly agitated, frustrated, and irritated about many things. To have contentment in my life, I’ve needed to understand the true nature of who I am. I believe that’s the whole point of it all.
The searching and seeking part of me – maybe that’s my ego – he wants what he wants, and he’s good at finding things that are wanting. So I – maybe that’s my ego, too – am aware of how and who I am. Sometimes it seems like I can’t take “it” anymore, but somehow I become stronger every day.
“You’re so angry!” she told me through tears, and it’s true, sometimes I do feel very angry. I feel angry for various reasons, and about various things, but I choose not to be angry about being angry. I’d do things differently if given the chance, and I suppose today, and every day, is that chance, even if it’s by myself (which is how change begins, anyway).
I can tell when my mind is tying itself into knots. Simplicity, sincerity, and starting over gives me peace of mind. I enjoy being my own friend.
I’ve attained a level of seriousness that I believe is good for me. Being serious means I’m clear about who I am, and I’m focused on being who I am. I think pain can make you stronger.
Ultimately, it’s about being happy. That’s at the heart of who I am. I choose to honor and follow my heart.
Within the pieces of a broken heart, grows a bigger and stronger heart.