Waking Up at 3am (Again)

I woke up from yet another dream at 3am, which tends to happen when I’m going through big changes in my life. In my dream, I literally had a phone call that woke me up. My mind’s a prankster.

As I’m thumb typing this post – about to go back to sleep – I’m conscious of wanting to be less conscious. What I mean is that I associate dreaming with my subconscious (whatever that is). I want to write this from a spontaneous place.

“Through thick and thin” is a sentiment that’s important to me, but instead of applying it to other people, I’m applying it to my relationship with myself.



Focusing on Simplicity


I begin the new year focused on simplicity, sincerity, and starting over. Simplicity is about ease, sincerity is about genuineness, and starting over means to begin doing something again from the beginning. These themes subconsciously became the things I want to focus on.

Often, I know what ease feels like based upon the feeling of unease. Genuineness is the opposite of approval-seeking and people-pleasing. Starting over (with more experience this time around) feels good.

These themes come from my true self.


Unlearning (Beliefs about Money)


Part of my journey these days is to unlearn the things I’ve picked up along the way that don’t serve me anymore.

The process of unlearning means letting go of previously held beliefs and ideas that are false, outdated, and unproductive. This can be difficult because many of our beliefs are subconscious, and we may have emotional reasons for hanging onto them, so they create blind spots in our consciousness. Sometimes things just have to get so bad that we have to do something about it.

We unlearn things in order to make room for knowledge that is more accurate, resonant, and truthful to who we really are, and how life really is.

Currently, I’m unlearning beliefs I’ve had about the life areas of finances/jobs, and career/vocation. These terms are used in casual conversation, but I realized I don’t truly understand their meaning, even though they have a huge impact on my quality of life, so I’m unlearning/relearning what they mean to me.

In a talk given by Alan Watts, he says:

The difference between having a job and having a vocation is that a job is some unpleasant work you do in order to make money, with the sole purpose of making money. There are plenty of jobs because there is still a certain amount of dirty work that nobody wants to do, and that therefore they will pay someone to do it. There is essentially less and less of that kind of work because of mechanization. If you do a job with the sole purpose of making money, you are absurd, because if money becomes the goal–and it does if you work that way–you begin increasingly to confuse it with happiness or with pleasure. Yes, one can take a handful of crisp one dollar bills and practically water your mouth over it, but this is a kind of person who is confused like a Pavlov dog, who salivates on the wrong bell.

I can definitely relate to that, and it’s something I noticed my parents and other adults struggling with while I was growing up. I think most of us like the feeling of doing a good job, but when money (or the fear of survival) becomes the sole purpose of doing it, it takes all the joy and meaning out of what we do.

I want to do things because I enjoy it, it has personal meaning to me, and I see the purpose in doing it. Sometimes that will mean being paid to do a job, running my own a business, or both, but I want to know what my intentions and motivations are behind what I’m doing.

This is a work in progress, and I’ll be sure to write more about it.


image credit: Pixabay

Aligning with Your True Self


I’ve been thinking about my purpose for writing GBM articles. There are personal reasons, of course, but I wanted to know how it could benefit other people. The question had been swirling around in my subconscious all day, and after a relaxing hot shower, the answer came to me.

My purpose for writing GBM articles is to show people how to align with their True Self.

Aligning with my True Self is something I work on every day. It’s what I’m passionate about, and I want to help others who are on a similar path.

Aligning with your True Self is:

  • self-discovery
  • self-awareness
  • self-realization
  • self-actualization
  • self-improvement
  • self-worth
  • self-acceptance
  • self-direction

Ultimately it’s about knowing and living the truth of who you are, which takes tremendous courage and strength.

If you’re called to the path of selfhood, like I am, then I want to help point the way, though by its very nature this is a journey that each of us must take on our own.

I love learning from others, yet I must seek my own counsel. If you’re the same, then you’ll understand what I mean.

The path to your True Self is a solitary road, but that doesn’t mean it needs to be lonely. There are other seekers and travelers, and it’s in meeting places like this blog that we get to say hello.

I like to end my articles on a note of appreciation.

Truly appreciating and accepting yourself, looking at yourself and seeing who you really are without flinching, is both an uplifting and humbling experience.

It’s the first step toward aligning with your True Self.

image credits: morguefile.com



I’m not sure what I’m going to write about, although I have an infinite amount of things to write about. If all I get out of this — and am able to convey — is a sense of appreciation, then my intentions would have been realized.

When I think of Getting Better, Man, I think about progress. “Getting” what? Getting the answers to the big questions, getting what I want out of life. “Better” how? Better in every way, better understanding, better experience. “Man” who? Me, specifically, but also what it means to be human.

In some form or another, I’ve dipped into my subconscious pool, and have been pulled in by its seductive and tantalizing waters. There’s a dreamland of neverending promises in the languid depths of the subconscious. It’s where the wild things are — and aren’t. It takes a brave soul to venture into the underworld, but the rewards are beyond comprehension.

In Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey, there’s a part that’s called “The Magic Flight” and “Rescue from Without”, and if I were to follow this template (and I do), I believe that’s where I’m at on my journey. In order to receive the treasure from the gods and monsters, one has to be a bit of a trickster, which I think is the saving grace of human beings.

So how do I go about returning to society with the fire I’ve stolen from the gods? Against my will, it seems. Life is yanking me out of my blissful reverie, and asking for its recompense. I was tricky in procuring the treasure, and I’ll be tricky in sharing it.


image credits:
California Death Valley Coyote


I believe dreams can tell you what your sub-conscious is thinking. I often have bizarre, vivid, and surreal dreams. They sometimes affect my mood for a while after getting up, but eventually dissipate in the light of day. It wasn’t until I started keeping a journal of my thoughts and dreams that I saw patterns in my conscious and unconscious mind. Take today, for example. I woke up from a dream about moving into a new apartment. Everything about the place was new to me, the rooms, the smells, even simple things like how to set the air conditioner. I felt an anxiousness that I usually feel when I move into a new place, but more than that I felt excitement. I felt the possibilities! Everything was new. The dream itself took a turn for the unusual, but by the time I woke up and wrote it down, I saw that this feeling of having possibilities was a powerful emotion for me. What if I could have this feeling right now? I’m embarking on a big journey, trying to publish a series of comics, trying to run my own business. I’m anxious, but at the same time I can also be excited by the possibilities. I can enjoy the newness of it all. Usually this excitement is replaced by routine and habits. Having to get up in the morning, the loud neighbors, and soon your new surroundings become a gray blur that you don’t even notice anymore. But maybe it doesn’t have to be that way. Maybe we can change our perceptions.

Each day presents new opportunities and new things to learn. If you’re feeling stuck in a rut, maybe going down the same path isn’t going to help. Sometimes you have to stop and look around, realizing that the best way to get out of the rut is to climb the walls.

We all have recurring themes that we dream about, and I believe it’s our sub-conscious mind speaking to us. Not all of it will make sense. A literal interpretation of a dream is often pointless. Try writing down the vivid dreams you have in a journal. It can reveal some important insights that get lost in the urgency of your everyday thoughts. If nothing else, these journal entries can be a humorous trip down the dark recesses of your mind.