Knowing and Not Knowing

It's interesting to feel like you know and you don't know simultaneously. Opposites can coexist at the same time, and perhaps they have to. The experience of transcending polarity feels like the cracking of an egg.

I'm fascinated by my inner family, or team, or personalities. They've always been quite distinct. My inner captain and team leader is really coming into his own these days.

The study of the universe is essentially the study of the psyche. After all, it's the psyche that's observing the universe. We come from it, and it comes from us.


Waking Up


I woke up to find that I had a couple of comments on one of my videos, but they turned out to be spam, but hey, it’s a start, right? Making these recordings–and sharing them with others–is important to me in a way that I can’t completely describe. I’ve felt this way at other times in my life, and it was always transformative.

I’m at a point where I can’t go back to the way things were, and I mean that figuratively and literally. Life has a way of showing you the raw truth, one way or the other. Learn to trust the Universe, or be broken by it.

Trusting in God is the same as trusting in myself. Approval seeking and people pleasing is basically worshiping the (good or bad) opinions of others, and (for me) that’s immoral. I’m glad that I’ve experienced what I’ve experienced, I’m at where I’m at, and I’m doing what I’m doing.



Unfolding Perfectly


The treasure I seek is self-realization, but the great fear I have is letting go of the belief that I have to do something, that I have to prove my worth, or be somebody. It’s a paradox. The more I try to be who I am, the more I can’t be who I am.


What if we accepted that everything is unfolding perfectly? That it has always unfolded perfectly, and will always unfold perfectly. There’s a part of me that’s terrified to accept that–recoils at the thought–and yet it’s a deep understanding and key to the universe.


Where does meaningfulness come from? I don’t know, but I know it’s something we can feel. Our own unique path will always feel meaningful to us.





Building a Life

Isn’t it strange how we got here? What a long journey it’s been, yet it feels like just yesterday (when we first met). I guess, day by day, we’re building a life.

I see myself in you. We must have decided to take this journey together. It’s so wonderful to have companions.

Let’s sing and dance and send ripples out into the universe. Who knows? Maybe our inspiration comes from the dreams of fellow star children.


Shifting Paradigms


I’m going through a paradigm shift, in which long-held beliefs are falling by the wayside, and false premises are giving way to universal truths. There are certain things I always knew to be true for me, but maybe I’d forgotten them, or kept them hidden away.

We sometimes talk about having a calling, or answering the call; to our life’s purpose, to adventure, to go on the journey, to walk the walk. The calling can be ignored for only so long until our discontent gives birth to the person we’re meant to be.

The interesting thing is that whenever an insight shows up, it has the tendency to slip by and be replaced by old limiting beliefs, so I make a note of the ideas that inspire, illuminate, and fill me with excitement. In another one of life’s paradoxes, the darkest hours lead to love and light.


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Living from Source

It seems like there really is a way of living from source, something I’ve yearned for and sought all my life, and of course there would be a way, since it can be no other way. Everything else feels like an illusion, fake, and ultimately pointless — at least to the small mind of ego — without a connection to source.

Does The Source = The Force = The Tao = God? I don’t know, and I don’t really care. There’s nothing like a good round of mental masturbation to figure out and categorize beliefs — and I enjoy that — but lately I’m more interested in feeling the connection to the source of power in the universe rather than being more right about something than someone else. This is the way of example, not talk.

All I know is there’s an infinitely powerful source of power within and without me, that I am that source — a part of it — as is everyone and everything in the universe, and my physical self — our physical selves — are vessels and vehicles deserving of respect and dignity, for we are part of the creativity of the universe.

My true work up to this point has been to wake up to this realization. Nothing short of this realization could satisfy me. The next steps aren’t so important — actually, they are important — because they’ll be inspired steps. And this would sound like so much BS to my ego, if not for the sweetness of the feeling, the joy in every moment, the grace during the painful moments, and the appreciation of the good things in life.


A Tale of Misplaced Loyalty (part 6)


We go about our daily life on Earth without giving much thought to 99.9% of existence. For all intents and purposes, whatever’s not in our conscious awareness might as well not exist. Yet there’s an infinite universe moving and shifting around and within us. Most of our life is made up of unconscious processes, but to us, what counts is the part that we’re aware of. If the Ego can be imagined as the Earth, then the Unconscious can be thought of as the vast stretches of uncharted territory, including most of the matter that’s underneath the surface. The Earth was formed and continues to be formed by unconscious, impersonal forces, and for a relatively short amount of time has there been conscious life. The Ego is part of the evolution of the stars and planets. Before I go off on too much of a tangent, I want to bring back the Persona, which by its very existence creates a Shadow. If the Persona is a satellite of the Ego, then the face that we present to the world will have a dark side. Even without much of a Persona, the Ego will still have a Shadow, because everything has its opposite. It could be argued that most of our psyche is Shadow-stuff, like the way most of the Universe may be dark matter.

On a personal note, the Shadow is something I’ve been wrapped up in for as long as I can remember, even before I knew to call it the “Shadow” (I have to admit that I admire C.G. Jung’s dramatic flair). For self-improvement to be true, it must go beyond — yet still include — worldly success. Self-improvement must also include understanding the unconscious forces that drive us. It would be easy to say “this is good, and this is bad”, and leave it at that, but that’s never worked, and we’ll never completely agree on what that means. We may wish, or maybe it’s the Ego that wishes, to decide what we want to keep or throw out about ourselves, but life isn’t about maintaining what the Ego wants, but rather it’s about complete understanding and wholeness, in other words — wisdom — which can only come about through courageously and inquisitively searching for the truth in all things.

To be continued…

Read part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5


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