I’d be doing myself a great disservice – and by extension, my audience – if I were false. Being truthful and sincere has long been a theme here, and that will continue. I have an internal compass that I can’t lie to.
In a world full of sugar-coating, I’m a fire that burns away everything that’s false. What’s left is real. It’s something you have to experience for yourself.
I’m not trying to be right, nor do I want to be. All of this has been written in some way by a future version of me, and when I re-read it months or years from now, it rings true. That’s all I can ask of myself.
One of the main themes of my life is standing up for myself. I really let my dad know where I stood today, and I’m proud of myself for doing it. I’m happy to be my own friend in this, as well as other things.
I have certain principles I live by, and a keen sense of personal integrity. I think deeply about what I believe in, and I live by that. At the same time, my beliefs have been clarified and refined through the living of life.
I live a happy and successful life by my own standards. I choose to do things based upon joy, not fear. I’m also not here to fight other people’s battles.
It was a year ago this month that I first came to the shop, feeling like a stranger in a strange land. In the past year, I’ve grown so much. Now, I find myself again feeling strange as I look for a new job, and a new life.
It doesn’t really matter what led me up to this point. Needless to say, events happened that influenced the choices I’ve made. Doing the right thing also means doing what’s right for yourself.
I keep circling back to this theme of being my own person. I suppose it’s something I fear, and I try to rationalize it away. Ever since my break-up a couple of years ago, I’ve become more of the man I want to be.
It’s a rainy beginning to a new week, and I’m enjoying it. My dad and I watch movies that I pick up from nearby pawn shops, and some are good, others not so much. In any case, I’m learning about storytelling, and getting ideas for stories.
The theme for last week turned out to be simplicity. Beneath all of the mental chatter is a calm and steady simplicity. That’s what I trust.
It’s a breezy, gusty, windy kind of day. It’s also the 6th week of 2016, which is something I keep track of. My theme for this week is family and relationships.
I’ve come a long way in my understanding of family, relationships, and the roles we play. I feel more comfortable in my relationships with others, but most of all, I feel more comfortable with myself. There has to be some distance between who we are, and who we think we are, for there to be a relationship within.
Right now, my family consists of my mom, dad, and the shop cats. I interact with various people every day, and it’s fun. The main thing is that I feel whole.
It’s been a week since my last post, and in that time I hung out with my good friend who I haven’t seen in over a year. We stayed at a nice hotel in downtown Dallas, and I enjoyed being away from the shop for a while (and taking a shower, which is a luxury these days). Things felt different this time around, but also the same.
There are several themes cropping up for me, one of which is about respecting resistance, which is another way of saying follow the path of least resistance. That, and simplicity/sincerity/starting over. Of course, the path seems circular and spiraling, anyway.
The depths of appreciation are fathomless, and it’s really what I enjoy the most. Sometimes (often) I see the world with much more clarity. I’m less presumptuous about everything.
I like the feeling of putting in a good day’s worth of work, and also relaxing afterwards (although there’s always something to work on at the shop). Even after all of these years, I’m still never completely sure what I’m going to write about when I sit down to write. That’s part of the fun.
Life is amazing, and my appreciation only grows. From the mundane to the magical, there’s beauty if we choose to see it. Every day is truly an adventure.
Some of the themes that are rising to the top for me is simplicity, clarity, and as always, self-reliance. Also sincerity, courage, and confidence. My phone is set to vibrate whenever I get a like on my blog, and somehow it’s very satisfying when I feel that.