We are all destined to realize our true self-worth, one way or the other. It’s not so much a calling as an inexorable pull. To the extent that we resist the pull of our true self, we are unhappy.
Letting go can be difficult because it can feel like a sacrifice. Sometimes we think we’re sacrificing, but we’re not. A true sacrifice usually has to do with the death of a dearly held belief, and most of us hate to be wrong.
It’s challenging to be unflinchingly honest with ourselves. There are so many ways we can be diverted from really getting to the heart of the matter. I continue to write, because this is my bastion of peace, and oasis of truth.
My definition of humility is being neither too high nor too low in your estimation of yourself. In fact, the need to compare yourself to others is irrelevant when you’re truly humble. Humility requires self-honesty and sincerity.
Feeling like you’re better than others (and needing to put others down) is arrogance, which is the opposite of humility. Likewise, playing the martyr or victim is also a kind of arrogance, and not humble. It’s only through vigorous self-honesty that the true heart of humility can shine forth.
Being truly humble means being invisible, like the way nature is great without caring if anyone notices. It means living life for the greater good, which includes yourself and everyone else. It means withdrawing blame and taking on full responsibility for your choices.
Choosing to no longer seek the approval of (and trying to please) others may be the most challenging thing we ever face. Sometimes anger is our only way out, but when the anger subsides, we can feel the familiar pull of old habits. However (and whenever) it happens, turning the corner is the difference between night and day.
The Great Equalizer
Happiness is the great equalizer. We can never really tell if anyone else is truly happy. We can never truly make anyone else happy unless they really want to be happy.
I have to admit that as focused and (authentically) happy as I am now, through everything I’ve learned and overcome, there’s still pain and resistance to being happy, which requires all of my wisdom (as well as others) in order to find peace. It takes a deep and abiding appreciation of the journey and the process of life. We weren’t born to please others; we were born to be true to ourselves, and the sooner we realize that, the better we’ll feel.
I’m focused on embodying myself these days–really feeling what it means to be me–so I’m not trying to use my intellect to be happy. Intrinsic motivation is the only thing that’s truly fulfilling. Life flows into open spaces.
I’m enjoying art, writing, and music. There’s nothing for me to solve anymore. I’ve gone through the tough stuff, and now all I want to do is appreciate everything.
I know that whatever has gone away can be replaced by something greater. This is what it means to be a (better) man. That’s what it means to be human.
Perhaps it’s not a bad thing to form a callous over the heart; not to have a hardened heart, but one that can sustain us. A healthy and passionate heart is one that pulses with life, but not one that’s bleeding all over the place. A strong heart maintains integrity.
There’s an invisible wall between the mundane and the magical. The wall is a well placed illusion, and there’s a reason it’s a mystery (because you’re meant to find it for yourself).
The great treasure of life is true self-worth, and once it’s found, all lies dissolve.
At the heart of re-inventing myself is the principle of intrinsic motivation and reward. Doing things for intrinsic reward means being uncompromisingly true. It’s unfamiliar territory, but the key is to make the unfamiliar familiar.
Intrinsic rewards feel satisfying, fun, interesting, fulfilling, right, good, and perfect. Trying to get extrinsically rewarded feels like second-guessing myself, self-doubt, approval-seeking, people-pleasing, fear-based, anxiety-driven, worrisome, comparing myself to and seeking validation from others. So yeah, intrinsic rewards are way better.
I’ve found that deciding to live from the inside out means not going back to the old ways of living. You can’t half-ass being true to yourself. You wouldn’t buy falseness from yourself, and neither will other people.
I have found that in being true to myself, compromise is compromising, and it is a weakness. I know when I’ve compromised myself, and that is always the greatest source of regret. It’s when you let yourself down that hurts the most.
I’ve strengthened my inner strength by not letting myself down, being my own best friend, and supporting myself, no matter how difficult it was at first.
My self-worth used to come from other people and external things, and it felt nearly impossible to unplug from that, but it is possible, and for me, the only way to live happily.
Approval-seeking and people-pleasing is an emotional addiction, and the only way out (that I’ve found) is to become hooked on your own soul.
Today, I’m as free as the day I was born. I feel innocent and pure. Not because I’m doing anything, but because I’ve chosen to be uncompromisingly true to myself.