I believe in powers that are greater than psycho-emotional games. I believe in the Spirit of each person. Sometimes a person’s Spirit, or True Self, is hidden behind clouds of fear, but I know that it’s still there. I’ll admit that as much as I’ve complained about, and struggled against, my mom’s influence upon me, I liked the attention, but it comes at a high price.
When it came down to it – when I confronted her in front of her husband about the way she’s complained about him to me – she denied it and protected herself. I called her a liar in front of both of them. I told her (again, in front of both of them; I don’t need to talk behind people’s backs) that based upon what she’s talked to me about, and based upon what I’ve seen with my own eyes, this guy is no friend of mine, and I don’t think he’s good for her.
All of this is a culmination of many other events that I’m glad has finally opened my eyes. I feel like my own mom threw me under the bus in order to protect herself. She continues to kiss her husband’s ass, even though he and I both know the things she’s done. She has this belief that no one loves her, especially me, even though I’ve done my best (probably too much) to show her that I love her. There’s probably no one that loves her as sincerely as I do, except her Spirit.
I’ve seen how he doesn’t really respect her. I made an effort to talk to him when I had some arguments with her (again, based upon stupid-ass things she was saying to me). He tried to give me advice, which I patiently listened to, but it showed me that he doesn’t think that highly of her. Ultimately, everyone will come out fine, especially me, because I intend it that way. For my mom, maybe she won’t realize how great she is, how great her life is, and what a great son she has until she’s out of her physical body. Hopefully she can align with her True Self before that. I’ve shared moments of alignment with her, so I know it’s possible.
As for me, I have great powers of self-improvement that I’ve honed over the years, and wisdom that my Spirit has developed over lifetimes. That’s what I’m loyal to, and that’s what I believe in.