Turning the Corner


Choosing to no longer seek the approval of (and trying to please) others may be the most challenging thing we ever face. Sometimes anger is our only way out, but when the anger subsides, we can feel the familiar pull of old habits. However (and whenever) it happens, turning the corner is the difference between night and day.

The Great Equalizer

Happiness is the great equalizer. We can never really tell if anyone else is truly happy. We can never truly make anyone else happy unless they really want to be happy.

Feeling Better

I have to admit that as focused and (authentically) happy as I am now, through everything I’ve learned and overcome, there’s still pain and resistance to being happy, which requires all of my wisdom (as well as others) in order to find peace. It takes a deep and abiding appreciation of the journey and the process of life. We weren’t born to please others; we were born to be true to ourselves, and the sooner we realize that, the better we’ll feel.




Ceasing to Matter

I’ve learned that when certain things cease to matter, that’s when I know I’ve transcended it. Things come up that used to get to me, but now they don’t matter like they used to. At the same time, certain things matter even more than before, like self-cultivation.

It seems like self-confidence naturally springs from wisdom, and wisdom is essentially self-awareness. These are transcendent virtues; they can be applied to anything. When all of the BS is swept away, what’s left is a confident, natural, and powerful core.

Most of the work of self-improvement is the maintenance of a positive attitude. This includes the story we tell ourselves about why things happen the way they do. My story is one of redemption in which, no matter what happens, I always end up better than before.


Waking Up and Breathing


It’s a rainy night, and I slept for a while, but after waking up I decided to get out of bed and do my usual routines until I get sleepy again. I sleep in the same bed as my dad these days, which I didn’t think I’d be able to do, but it’s actually quite meaningful. Life and work at the shop continues, and continues to fly by.

I’m learning more about working on cars, running the shop, and life. I’m learning about freedom, independence, and self-empowerment. I’m learning that wisdom comes from the sum of knowledge and experience.

So much of life is about beginnings and endings, but there’s an in-between space where eternity exists. It’s that holding your breath and finally breathing out sensation that feels like a relief.


Respecting Resistance (Growing Wise)


I woke up from an emotional and visceral dream, and realized it was the second day of a new year. I appreciate and perform my usual waking up rituals, and feel thankful for what I get to experience. I’m making peace with aspects of my life which seemed mountainous.

Yesterday, I focused on respecting resistance. Resistance is resistance, and deserves respect. Respect is respect, and something I choose to cultivate and have.

Knowledge and wisdom are priceless. To grow in knowledge and wisdom is worth its weight in experience. Soon, I’ll go back to sleep.


Seeking Guidance and Wisdom


There are various ways to seek guidance and wisdom, and I’ve shared some of my methods on this blog. My experiences have shown me the importance of seeking wisdom, and more importantly, aligning with it. Perhaps the purpose of feeling lost is to seek guidance and wisdom.

I have more clarity and focus now than I’ve ever had before. I know that I can be OK with myself no matter what, which means that I can be happy. My approval of myself finally carries more weight than someone else’s approval of me.

It doesn’t matter so much what will happen, because I live my life moment to moment and day to day. The days connect into weeks, months, and years, but happiness and joy is in the here and now.


Wising Up

Early to bed, early to rise.
I light incense, the scent of jasmine.
I can do things I used to do, and it doesn’t hurt as much.
Coffee, thoughts, the fan blowing cool air across my neck.
Maybe this is life, it’s my life.
Maybe I’ll meet the (next) great love of my life (soon).
Maybe I finally know what I’m doing.
Maybe I’m actually wising up.


Believing in Something Great

I believe in powers that are greater than psycho-emotional games. I believe in the Spirit of each person. Sometimes a person’s Spirit, or True Self, is hidden behind clouds of fear, but I know that it’s still there. I’ll admit that as much as I’ve complained about, and struggled against, my mom’s influence upon me, I liked the attention, but it comes at a high price.

When it came down to it – when I confronted her in front of her husband about the way she’s complained about him to me – she denied it and protected herself. I called her a liar in front of both of them. I told her (again, in front of both of them; I don’t need to talk behind people’s backs) that based upon what she’s talked to me about, and based upon what I’ve seen with my own eyes, this guy is no friend of mine, and I don’t think he’s good for her.

All of this is a culmination of many other events that I’m glad has finally opened my eyes. I feel like my own mom threw me under the bus in order to protect herself. She continues to kiss her husband’s ass, even though he and I both know the things she’s done. She has this belief that no one loves her, especially me, even though I’ve done my best (probably too much) to show her that I love her. There’s probably no one that loves her as sincerely as I do, except her Spirit.

I’ve seen how he doesn’t really respect her. I made an effort to talk to him when I had some arguments with her (again, based upon stupid-ass things she was saying to me). He tried to give me advice, which I patiently listened to, but it showed me that he doesn’t think that highly of her. Ultimately, everyone will come out fine, especially me, because I intend it that way. For my mom, maybe she won’t realize how great she is, how great her life is, and what a great son she has until she’s out of her physical body. Hopefully she can align with her True Self before that. I’ve shared moments of alignment with her, so I know it’s possible.

As for me, I have great powers of self-improvement that I’ve honed over the years, and wisdom that my Spirit has developed over lifetimes. That’s what I’m loyal to, and that’s what I believe in.