Sometimes it can be frustrating to take small steps after what seems like more than enough time and effort was put into something, but that’s the true work.
Even after all these years I find myself taking small steps; one letter at a time, one word after another, one sentence following the next until paragraphs are formed.
My sense of self has never been stable, and what I know about myself is that I’m constantly changing, but there is a center of gravity.
Up before dawn, with hardly any sleep, I get ready for my new job. It’s been a couple of months since I’ve had to get ready for work. The fan belt of my car squeals in protest at the cold morning air.
Starting a new job is like stepping onto the set of a new sitcom. We’re introduced to the characters. We begin to play our part.
I put on an apron and a name tag. I weigh roast chicken and slice and dice fruit to be delivered. I come home–exhausted–do my usual routines, and take a nap.
I talk about finding a job (which I got, btw), playing roles, and personal identity.
Thanks for listening!
Today, I want to talk about vocation.The main reason I blog is because I enjoy it, but also because I love writing. I do it every day because that’s what works for me (and it’s an excuse for me to take photos).
Being an Artist
If you’re interested in my art and illustration work, then I invite you to check out sedonethongvilay.com. I’m currently brainstorming how to integrate all of my interests and talents into a synergistic whole so that I can put my ideas, creativity, services, and products out there in the world. The good news is that this is as clear as I’ve ever been about it.
Being a Writer
GBM has always been about self-improvement–and it’s definitely helped me improve myself–but it’s also helped me to improve my writing skills. Blogging and writing every day has made it easier for me to face the blank page. I’m working on (and intend to write and publish) a series of books, and GBM feels like the right/write space for that.
Being a Musician
Performing music is a more recent endeavor, but I’ve always loved it. I have ideas for videos which will complement my art and writing, and I want to include my passion for music. My intention is to write and perform my own songs one day.
I’m in the process of establishing a personal brand. As such, I’m calling myself an artist, writer, and musician. It’s important in life to follow your dreams, and achieving your dreams is all about clarity, focus, and vision.
It’s been so long since I’ve thought of myself as an anxious person, that it took me quite by surprise to realize I felt anxious.
- Changes at work.
- Applying for new jobs.
Check, check, and check.
Anxietyville, here I come.
But for me, anxiety always brings along its friend aka depression aka Mr. Doldrums.
Being a Warrior (not a worrier)
Adversity can bring out the warrior within. My sub-personalities are a raucous bunch, but in more recent times a new archetype has emerged; the inner warrior. Things don’t have to be certain when we have courage.
Having a day (or night) job was something I used to think I wouldn’t like, but as it turns out, I actually do like it, and it’s helpful in more ways than just providing a steady paycheck. A day job–especially manual labor–has helped me become more physically and mentally fit. It’s also gotten my creative juices flowing.
Now, I’m not recommending that everyone go out and get a day job, but for me it’s the right thing to do (at least for now). One of my top three values is being self-reliant, and that’s what I use as my inner compass, to guide my way. However, even with a day job it’s important to remain adaptable and flexible; agile.
My vocation is to paint pictures, write stories, and play music. If a day job helps me to follow my calling in life, then it’s part of my vocation. I believe that I’ll be able to support myself through my calling one day, but who knows, I may still want to have a day job, anyway.
I didn’t realize it was Friday (now Saturday). That’s the kind of week I’ve had. Work, work, work; one day blurring into the next.
Not that I’m complaining. I’m grateful and rather pleased with myself. One of the themes of my blog is being self-confident, and that’s a great and exciting adventure.
To me, self-confidence is a deep and abiding trust in yourself. This trust, which is the same as love, is the most intimate relationship of all. It’s a relationship with your True Self.